We're (Still) in this Together

By this time our homes should be in perfect order. Every weed should be pulled and lawns perfectly manicured. By this time we should have called, Facetimed, or Zoomed all of our long lost friends and family. The garage should be cleaned out, the attic organized, our books dusted off and displayed in alphabetical order, our clothes arranged by season and/or colour because ......... we're not going anywhere!!! 

Everyday I wake up with a million things I want to accomplish that day which is totally and completely unrealistic. What's more likely to happen is to wander into a room to innocently retrieve something and suddenly realize that "this can't go on any longer. It must be reorganized and thoroughly cleaned. With bleach." And before I know it I'm on my knees scrubbing something while inhaling toxic fumes. Or I check my email really quick* (wink wink) only to get lost on Facebook or Amazon and before I know it I've ordered wheat berries which should arrive in another month. 

On one of my Instagram tours, I came across a professional organizer and now I am hellbent on creating the perfect walk in pantry complete with matching containers and custom vinyl labels. I've spent hours on The Container Store website and have been walking around with a tape measure for a few days now. I've turned the crazy corner. I'm not going to lie.

This is my current obsession. I can't live like this anymore.

Today is the official first day that it's required in our county to wear a mask into any retail store. I went to Walmart yesterday and thought I'd try it out as sort of a warm up. My mask was lovingly made by a member and it is super cute! Nothing says stay away respiratory virus like chevron fabric. But my hair kept getting tangled in the ties which kept loosening up and falling down my nose. I also am in serious doubt that any mask other than the medical ones you can't get your hands on is going to do a lick of good. So I have to wonder if we're just doing this to make each other feel better. I, for one, do not feel better. As I was waiting in line at Walmart holding on to my mask so it wouldn't fall down, I had a hot flash. Not. Cool. Menopausal women should not be made to wear a mask. We should get a pass. 

Because not everyone's mask is as cute as mine, I'm beginning to feel like I'm surrounded by bandits ready to hold me up at gunpoint.  This is an unsettling feeling. Anyone could go rogue at any minute maybe because they can't find toilet paper when they really need it. 

As far as the hot flashes are concerned I feel like I'm being cooked from the inside out. While I've always considered the perfect temperature inside and out to be a beautiful 72 F, my post menopausal self favors a cooler 69 F. The house is currently set at 74 F for the summer months and that's just not going to be OK. Thankfully my husband has been very supportive of me tinkering with the thermostat. 

The worst is the evenings. Wayne says we sleep in a windstorm. The overhead fan is on high and I've got another fan pointing at me directly on the floor. I've learned a few tricks so far. I keep ice water to sip by the bed for middle of the night flashes. I also have repurposed my hysterectomy pillow (which has a pocket inside to slip a hot/cold pack) as a hot flash pillow. I put a cold pack in there before bed and keep it within reach to grab in the middle of the night and press against my core. It's lovely. My super helpful husband has suggested I bring a frozen water bottle to bed to cuddle up to and then in the morning I can use it for my hot tea. (you know ... because it will be boiling by then)

Anyway. Back to quarantine life. 

A friend of mine recently offered me some sourdough starter. I figured why not if she would also pass along some recipes. I'm sure there's lots of info out there on Pinterest anyway. Bring it on. I'm not going anywhere. 

It was sitting on my counter where I had put it when she brought it over. I started searching for info on what to do with it and where to put it. That's when I realized I just adopted another child I'm going to have to keep alive. According to the internet we have to give it a name. Then we have to feed it regularly. When I go to bake a loaf I pretty much have to stay at home all day to tend to it. This is a lot to take in. At what point do I start baking with it? Do I really need distilled water? Do I have to purchase a kitchen scale? Panic set in and I stuck it in the fridge. That's where it is now. I try not to look it in the eye when I go in there for milk or something but it taunts me. 

To make myself feel better I dusted off an oldie but goodie cookbook Artisan Bread in Just 5 Minutes a Day. My path of baking bread has been a journey. I got on the grind your own wheat train early on in my homeschool career because that what we homeschoolers are supposed to do. I invested in a massive wheat grinder which sounds like an airplane is landing in my kitchen. The result however, is totally worth it. There's nothing like fresh milled wheat. Even the smell makes me swoon with happiness and love. The bread recipe I make yields three loaves and freezes well so the extra work and time makes it more worthwhile.

After that I latched onto the Artisan Bread, etc where you make a batch of dough that yields 4 boules of yummy bread. It really is to die for.  The dough can keep in the fridge for up to two weeks. Near the end of that time the loaf that results is often more "sourdoughy" since it's been sitting there longer and fermenting, I guess. From this same dough I've used it as a pizza crust and even cinnamon rolls. Why did I ever stop doing this? Guess I got distracted. 

So I guess real sourdough is the next frontier. Or my nemesis. Until I work up the nerve, my boule is making a comeback and bakes in the oven as we speak. 

Easter - just the three of us pretending everything is normal

On the homeschool front, poor Hosanna. Homeschoolers don't get snow days and now they don't get pandemic days either. Heck, my kids barely got sick days because I never believed they were really sick unless they had a fever. Then it was all ... to your room you go so you don't breathe on me. Come to think of it, those were their quarantine days! Don't feel too sorry for them. I'd bring up the old TV/VCR combo and they could watch Disney movies all day and eat in bed. They actually looked forward to being sick. No, it's true. Ask them! 

So Zanna soldiers on with the rest of her eighth grade year while I pop in to grade papers, help her with review work, or teach her a lesson on something. It's quite a way to end my homeschool career. Not a whole lot of fanfare for her graduation or my retirement. We probably would have had a party/open house or something to celebrate but I'll have to come up with another way to get some closure. 

Zanna's a super sporty girl but every since basketball was over followed by social distancing time, she's done nothing active. Nothing. On top of this she literally eats a bowl of chips a day for her evening snack. It took 6 weeks for me to catch on to this and realize something has to change. So we gave her daily options. She can either walk with us, run on her own, bike with us while we walk, bike on her own, or play one of those old Wii games that make you move a lot. As incentive (coupled with a moment of insanity) Wayne offered to run with her. I don't know why he didn't anticipate the pain he would experience in the days ahead but ... it was cute while it lasted that one day.

He's also been teaching her to drive just in our neighborhood so don't feel too sorry for her. 

All I have left to say about this is thank goodness for beautiful weather and flowers that grow. If you have to stay home this place ain't too shabby. A Texas spring has lots of practically perfect temperature days and lots of wildflowers. My flowers around the house are perking up too and it's such a treat to bring them in the house to enjoy. 

We're in This Together

I'm so tired of the word unprecedented. I'm looking at my thesaurus for alternative words. My choices are in alphabetical order but the first one sounds pretty spot on: bizarre. What else do we have ... extraordinary (it certainly hasn't been ordinary but I wouldn't say it's extra ordinary but whatever), fantastic (Ha!), unparalleled, unrivaled, unheard-of, uncommon. Fine. I guess we'll stick with unprecedented. 

In these unprecedented times (I'll use it but against my will), our family life has retained some ordinariness. We homeschool so we're not used to going our separate ways every weekday morning and reuniting for dinner if we're lucky. Home is what we do! Wayne is usually around for two out of three meals a day. He and I regularly take daily 3 mile walks together. I almost always make all our meals. I'm usually in my pj's until 10am. Zanna and I daily pour over grammar, science, history, etc. Dad has already been taking over the math moments when Zanna and Kahn Academy don't get along.  Yep, in many ways it's just another day in our home!

Just laying around reading the Odyssey(for Lit class) 

What has changed is our weekly homeschool co-op. I teach writing and last week we experimented with a Zoom call. 

What has changed is Will doing his college classes online. After going back to New Ulm to grab his books and join the Minnesota National Guard, he drove back home and picked up his girlfriend from the airport on his way. For two weeks they daily packed up their backpacks and a lunch and headed over to church to set up a workspace. They were in and out in the afternoons running, exercising, or kayaking on the lake. We suddenly saw our son as the young man he is becoming: committing to serve our country, committing to his pastoral studies, and committing to the lovely woman he brought home. 

What has changed is how often we see our neighbours. We actually see them more often than before at a proper distance of course. We've enjoyed several social distancing get togethers.

Most people out here have a mule or Ranger they tool around in so we all meet in a circle and keep our distance. BYOB. That's my sad looking little folding chair as we don't have one of those machines. It's nice they still include us;) 

We also pass our neighbours more frequently on our daily walks as they are more likely to be out and we can chat from across the street. Helps the sanity and all of that. 

What has changed the most has been church. This has definitely been the most stressful aspect for us and I know for many other church workers. How best to meet the spiritual and sometimes physical needs of our members with the many changing restrictions has needed wisdom and creativity and an unprecedented (yes I said it) amount of love and patience that only the Spirit can produce. We mourn the loss of getting together with our church family because we really are a family. We struggle with not being able to give the Sacrament especially during these stressful times when Satan is looking for a foothold. We still can't even believe that for most people Holy Week and Easter, the highest point of the church year and in the life of a Christian, will be spent at home on the couch watching their device. And the burden and responsibility of what they are watching on their device falls on our shoulders as much as it depends on us. 

There's been so many variables out of our control and out of our wheelhouse that I have spent hours in tears. I've watched hours of YouTube videos only to learn how much I don't know. We've struggled with crappy country wifi and limitations common to the rural area our home and church are in. We weren't planning on updating our phones but we did mine in hopes of improving the quality and ability to lifestream. I've consulted over the phone with others that can help guide us in what to do or try. I've spent too much time looking at what other congregations are doing and ending up feeling like a bigger failure because we don't have the resources, ability, or knowhow to achieve a produced video, polished You Tube channel, or seamless LiveStream that goes without a glitch. 

So we've kept doing what we can do. We've made good old fashioned phone calls to all of our members, checking in and making sure they're OK. To the more extroverted that find these days of isolation especially challenging, I've tried to slow down and block time to listen, chat, and laugh a little over regular calls. Every week we learn a bit more about improving our online worship and have added a tripod and external microphone. We make mistakes. I cry. And then we start again. That's pretty much how it goes. We sure appreciate those texts or emails or comments on the phone from our members that encourage us and thank us for how hard we're trying even when we had to start over a few times, the sound echoed, or only part of something recorded. 

In these unprecedented, bizarre days of social distancing, mask wearing, hand sanitizing over compensation, and toilet paper hoarding I also find myself enjoying the slower pace. It's a chance to spend some quality prayer time lifting those up to the Lord that are on the front lines of this virus. There's a vaccine to find and  those that are working on it. There's governments and leaders that need prayers for wisdom and guidance. There are plenty of dysfunctional families out there that on a good, normal day have some serious issues so what is their world possibly like with them all stuck in the same house without work, increased stress, and decreased structure? The prayer list goes on and on. 

There's been time to try new recipes, get some baking done, organize closets ... the list is endless! There's gardening to do and weeds to pull. I've tried new makeup (thank you online Sephora) and finally purchased new makeup brushes (thank you Target) because I think most of them were over 20 years old and that's just gross. There's books to read. Yay!!! 

Now it is Holy Week and there's so much out of our control but in our home we will endeavor to keep the focus on Christ like every other year. It'll just look different this time. Some traditions will continue and some will be tweaked. With the internet there is such a plethora of information and resources that we can take our pick from. 

I've FaceTimed with a few dear friends from Ottawa. I've scrolled Facebook and Instagram (the rambling redhead is HILARIOUS) more than necessary but in a hunger for human connection. I recently bought a pair of yoga pants online that I will forever refer to as "my Covid pants" because who has the energy to put real pants on? 

And that's Covid life in a nutshell in the Halldo household. 

My Dad bought me toilet paper!!!! 

BC/DC

I feel like life as we know it will forever be thought of as "before coronavirus" and "after coronavirus". However we are currently in the no man's land I like to call "during coronavirus" and no one but the Lord knows when we'll finally be beyond it. So I guess we all just sit tight and wait. 

I'd like to not get myself or my reader too depressed so I'd like a moment to travel down memory lane to what feels like eons ago when Covid 19 was only isolated to China and the murmuring we heard regarding it was quickly disregarded in the minds of most of us who had other things to worry about like taking their daughter to the big basketball tournament in Ft Worth while still recovering from surgery. Ahhhh.  February. Let me stay in this moment for awhile, may I? 

It was the same weekend we celebrated Zanna's 14th birthday which is ridiculous that she's that age. I mean, what the heck?

My social butterfly was loving the fact that she got to spend her special day in a hotel surrounded by her basketball teammates who thoroughly enjoyed themselves by embarrassing and celebrating her! It made my mama heart all warm and fuzzy to see her so happy. 

The actual games they played weren't necessarily something to write home about but they were up against some stiff competition and they had all improved throughout the season. It was their final game of the tournament which was also the last one they played together that was the big winner and an answer to prayer for how to end her "career" as a Lady Hawk. She made two baskets!

We returned home with a carload of important items found at Super Target and Costco ... never imagining that I might want to start hoarding paper products in the event of a catastrophe. Nope. Never occurred to me. But Zanna and I did find some really cute dresses to wear for Easter. hahahahaha

Oma and Opa arrived to help celebrate their granddaughter's birthday so we picked up a cake just the like the one she had last year per her request. 

Around this time of rampant social hugging and shaking hands, I got word that a piece of writing I had submitted earlier had been accepted and included in a magazine publication! Holy Hen House is a new magazine for Christian woman and they had chosen the theme of "Hosanna" for their spring issue. Needless to say, I had to give this a shot and write about our dear Hosanna. 

We had Will home for his Spring Break the first two weeks of March. He drove home so he'd have his car and he was busy working on various projects over at Camp Shiloh. It was sometime during his stay with us that I started to consider a life without toilet paper when I noticed what I was seeing (or not seeing) at Walmart. Little did I realize that we had passed the time of BC and had now entered DC. 

We live in East Texas, ya'll. We're pretty isolated out here. We do pretty well living in denial for a bit longer than your big city folk. Add to that it's March and that means spring!!! The trees are budding, the wildflowers are popping up, and the weather is Love-Lee (when it's not raining).  Moods are up, the lake is sparkling,  and the sun is shining. This pandemic stuff does not fit into this world. I'm sorry. Go somewhere else, Covid 19 (if that's your real name). 

But then they went and canceled classes at MLC and announced online learning will commence in a weeks time. Suddenly there are national guidelines and state governors with their edicts so now church as we know it is compromised. And I start going through the house taking stock of the Clorex wipes, hand gel, and toilet paper of all things. And why are people buying water? Is something going to happen to the water? What the heck? Is this the Twilight Zone? 

Yes, yes it is. Welcome to 2020.