Doe, a Deer, a Female Deer

I'm starting to see in my future a possible book idea about the adventures of Buddy and me. For now I will just share the recent near death experience we had with a local gang member. 

The gangs that call their home The Peninsulas here in East Texas where my house actually stands are not your run of the mill Bloods and Crips. They are not heavily armed and they don't wear red or blue bandanas. 

They're not the Montagues and Capulets. I have no idea if love is allowed between sects. I'm pretty sure in this case love has no boundaries. It's generally wherever it can be had. There is a time of year that seems particularly bent towards a mating season. "Love is in the Air" takes on new meaning and the males relentlessly pursue and harass the females who stick together and try their best to blow off these annoying stalkers looking for a good time. 

Our gangs are more like those TV shows about nature I hated watching when I was younger. It usually followed the lives of certain animals while a British male voice explained what we were witnessing in the wild. 

Ain't nobody needs to explain to me what's happening around here! The males get what they're looking for and then all of a sudden there are babies wandering around or lying in the tall grass. Hmmmm. This happens every year without any population control and now there are more of them than there are of us. 

So when Buddy and I go to take an innocent walk down the street and have to pass a herd of does that are loitering in the neighbor's yard, we're the ones that end up being run off and hissed at. 

Granted my dog wasn't helping the situation. He was the first to make eye contact and jumped to the end of the leash in excitement. I think he thinks he's a deer. He fancied he could hang out with them and blend in. I wouldn't be surprised if I found a red bandana in his kennel. Or blue. 

Anyway ... he caught the attention of one doe in particular. She had a baby we were no where close to but boy if she didn't start coming toward us. Wayne wasn't home. I didn't have my phone on me. But really ... I thought about it later ... what was I going to do with a phone? Call 911? I'm being chased by a deer? Or what ... take a picture? For what reason? So when they find our beaten corpses by the side of the road they can pick up my phone and find the last photo taken was of my four legged killer doe? 

Tugging on the leash with all of my might, I dragged the dog to another neighbor's mailbox. My first thought was to try and hide behind the brick mailbox. Until I realized how ridiculous it is to try to hide behind a mailbox. I mean, really, it wasn't that big of a mailbox. Ditching that idea, we made it to the next neighbor's property (keeping in mind that the homes are about an acre apart). The hissing doe was approaching fast and Buddy was causing me major drag. I couldn't see anyone in sight but I heard a mower in the distance and ran between the two nearest homes to find sanctuary and safety in what now had become an apparent Stephen King movie. 

The mower turned out to be Monique, my neighbor. Unbeknownst to me she apparently witnessed some of the shenanigans up to this point (I must of looked ridiculous. How embarrassing. ) and she offered to drive her riding mower to the front in hopes of scaring it off.  By the time she got there, the doe with her wee black, beady eyes was gone. 

Buddy and I finished walking to the end of the road but I failed to consider the walk back. The gang had relocated from the neighbor's yard to the common area across the street. We would have to go past them and surely she was one of them grazing in the group. 

At this point I knocked on a different neighbor's door to plead my case and beg for a ride home while still trying to maintain my pride. Her sweet little girls looked up at me with wide eyes as I breathlessly retold my story while battling Buddy on his leash trying to get in through their doorway. Having included yet another neighbor in my doe ordeal, Laura and her girls graciously offered to drive us home. We all peered out the window of her black SUV as we slowly drove past the standing does in the field. One in particular stared us down with those all too familiar black eyeballs that horror movies are made of. I knew it was her. Her gaze spoke that she too knew it was me and that incorrigible puppy of mine. I'll get you my pretty ... she seemed to threaten. 

OK. I might be getting carried away.

After retelling the story to my husband, who I'm sorry to report made light fun of me while rolling his eyes, he later experienced a similar event a few days later on a walk. Rest assured that a neighbor didn't find him cowering behind a mailbox or hightailing it down the street dragging a dog on a leash but my point was made!! We made an official complaint to a member of our HOA board (which looked more like crazy neighbors complaining to a guy on his Ranger who initially laughed and then realized I for one was dead serious.  He started to appease me with a plan to contact the local game warden to get someone in here to deal with this). 

For now we strive to live peaceably with the gang we share the neighborhood with. But if anything happens to me be sure to check the photos on my phone.