A Hannah Heart

 

When we dropped off Will at Prep six years ago, I comforted myself with the fact that we still had six whole years before having to take Zanna there.  Six long years to learn by her side, teach her what she needs to know, mentor her to womanhood, and make lasting memories to cherish.  

I dreaded how fast each new school year seemed to keep coming, knowing that the time was passing way too quickly. I knew this day would come.

I also didn't want our time to be clouded by this inevitability and ruined because I was living in fear. I tried my best to soak in our experiences and truly enjoy the days that seemed to fly by!

Motherhood is sacrificial in so many ways and my heart identifies with Hannah who cried in anguish and pleaded with the Lord to give her a child. Hannah despaired with each child her rival Penninah gave birth to. I know that feeling all to well. It seems like so long ago that with each passing month of barrenness I too would cry to the Lord for a miracle to happen in my womb. Each month His answer was no. But He said yes to Hannah in Samuel and He said yes to us through the adoption of Hosanna. 

In the joy and rapture of thankfulness we feel having been blessed with both of our children, we send them away so far and so young. They are not ours. They are His. We shoulder the responsibility to raise them, make wise choices on their behalf, disciple and discipline them accordingly, but they are not for us to keep. 

Which is a real bummer because now I have to remember where I parked the car at Walmart. Now I have to make sure I don't forget to water the bamboo above the kitchen sink or the plants outside on the porch. Now I have to load and unload the dishwasher myself. Now I have to be sure I've fed the dog. What will I do without her?

As the summer came and went she was getting ready to leave. She arranged Zoom calls and connected future classmates as she expanded the circle. She packed the carefully chosen matching bedding and towels that would help make her dorm room reflect her personality. She gathered items from her room to pack that would help make her new surroundings feel a little more homey. I was excited for her by seeing her excitement and I knew she was ready for this next step like I was so many years ago. 

I was beyond thrilled not to have to enter the boys' dorm this time around! The girls' dorm smelled WAY better. There were cute bulletin boards decorated in the lobby and Bible passages affixed to the walls throughout the hallways of each floor. It was so much cleaner and agreeable to be in! 

We know she'll be different when we see her next: Months of having to wash your own clothes, manage you time, and being responsible for yourself will do that.  We also know she'll always be our girl! 

Before we left for Wisconsin, we recreated an experience for her similar to one I had at her age. Her dad took her out on her first date. He showed her what being cared for and respected looks like. He treated her the way he would want a young man to treat his daughter. He wanted to be her standard. Granted - this didn't happened in just one meal out to restaurant. It's been happening all this time: in the way he treats and cares for me, how he speaks to me in love, and how he respects the uniqueness of womanhood. All this time she's been watching. But this day ... this time with just the two of them ... was special. I passed on to Wayne to give to Zanna the necklace my dad gave to me so many years ago, a memorable gift to remember a significant first date. 

Packing her up was a monumental task coupled with the need to haul all of Will's stuff to MLC. Turns out we had a hitch and didn't even know it all these years! Good thing because we ended up needing a trailer.

First stop was New Ulm! On our way though we were able to stop in Albert Lea and visit my Grandma. 

How cute is she? A woman never tells her age but let's just say there's a ninety in the front and a three at the end and we'll leave it with that. She's amazing! Her mind is sharp, she's beautiful, and full of wisdom! And yes, we wore masks at Perkins where we met up except for when we took them off to eat pie and talk. And we're oddly distanced from her in this picture while holding our breath. Welcome to 2020. 

Once we arrived in New Ulm, we got together with my dear friend, Tonya. We go way back to high school. We roomed together freshman year of DMLC and she was my matron of honor in my wedding. I love Tonya like a sister. In the recent past she and her husband have helped Will out with a place to stay when needed, a place to store his crap over the summer, and been on call should he need anything. I love being able to reconnect with her now that Will is at MLC. They had us over for a pizza supper at their new place and bonus: I got to see Brandon their son who is also my godchild. He's 23. And I am apparently super old. But I got to give him a big ole hug and remind him that Jesus loves him. How cool is that? 

After dropping off Will's stuff in his dorm room but not getting to see Will because he wasn't back from Basic before we left town, we continued on to Watertown. Big weekend. Big.

There was some weird social distancing and masking that made everything awkward of course but we still managed to get her moved in, made the Walmart run, got her registered, made a dry run to all her classes, and attended the beautiful opening service. 

We also reconnected with more dear friends and saw another one of our godchildren!! 

She is so precious, oh my goodness. What a treat!!

The big moment leading up to this day was of course who the roommate assignment would be. It turned out to be a sweet girl, fellow Pastor's kid (PK), who was raised in Canada. What are the chances?! BTW - Zanna is proud to continue to represent Canada and has many t-shirts to help her do this. Having said that, a canister of Tim Hortons hot chocolate in a care package would most assuredly assist her in this endeavor. 

The weekend went really well overall followed by a few days with my mom and dad in northern Wisconsin. We drove back through Mankato on our way back so we were able to see Will albeit briefly before we headed back down south. He had no hair but looked good and happy! 

We're settling into a new normal which consists on no kids and a dog. I go back and forth between being excited (this is the benefit of having kids young) and being scared (now what?) but God is SO good and we are blessed.