True Confessions: Thanksgiving Edition

At the risk of sounding like the beginning of an addiction meeting, I’m Rachel and I’m obsessed with organizing. My label maker and laminator are some of my favorite inadament objects I own, I love to be able to know where to find something I’m looking for and get extremely distressed when I have no idea where something is. I thrive in order and freak out in chaos. I find comfort in knowing what to expect of the day and find a sense of accomplishment in making lists and checking items off as they’re done. I like things to match and be pretty - bookshelves and baskets are wonderful to have!

This is my personality and as with anyone, there are strengths and weaknesses with this which became very apparent on this particular Thanksgiving. 

It's been quite a few years now. Thanksgiving for us is usually a quiet affair as we don’t live anywhere close to family. With Wayne so busy on weekends, we usually save our big turkey meal for Monday. This particular year we decided to do something different. We had a couple in our congregation that worshiped with our church biweekly due to the distance they traveled from their home in upstate New York. They’re missionary kids and I think got a kick out of attending church in Canada and having to cross the border to do it. We wanted to give them “the Canadian experience” of celebrating Thanksgiving in October as opposed to the American version in November. In order to do this, we had to have our dinner on Sunday afternoon - after all, they were already in town and it made sense to have them come over after worship. I figured while I was at it we might as well invite a few more members we’ve been meaning to have so why not? It may get a bit tricky being at church all morning and at the same time be preparing for a big Thanksgiving dinner, but I figured I could plan my way to success by setting the table and preparing what I could the day before. I’d leave the turkey until the morning and leave it in the oven while I was at church - not ideal but that was the plan. 

I also play the violin and hadn’t played awhile for worship so I thought this would be a good opportunity and was working on a beautiful, albeit challenging version of “Now Thank We All Our God” with a CD accompaniment. The tune went pretty fast and since I was being accompanied by a CD, I couldn’t slow it down so I worked really hard to practice and keep up with it. I spent HOURS practicing and even brought it to my violin teacher to go over it with me. But I was ready! I could make it through and was excited to use my gift of music to glorify God in this special Thanksgiving service. At the same time Will was practicing his violin along with the Sunday School choir in anticipation of them performing the following week. We encouraged this use of his God given abilities to praise the Lord and enhance worship! 

Sunday morning of Thanksgiving weekend arrived and I had successfully accomplished all that I had hoped to the day before and now it was just me and my turkey. I had decided that I was going to take the kids to church for Sunday school but instead of attending Adult Bible Study like I normally do, I’d come home to dress the turkey and still make it to church on time. I felt extremely weird dropping the kids off while wearing my sweats and leaving but I hoped God would understand just this once...  I was trying a new turkey recipe and it required a rubdown of a yummy paste followed by placing it in one of those turkey bags for cooking.  

Back home and still in sweatpants, I was cleaning my bird in the sink when I nicked my finger on a part of protruding bone and quickly drew my hand back as to not get any blood on the bird. The small cut really wasn’t any big deal but the thought of serving my turkey to my guests with a “special ingredient” is not what I had in mind. I washed it off and put a bandaid around my finger and went back to attending to my foul. I was feeling pretty good - right on time. I still needed to get dressed for church and wanted to run through my song one more time.  

I was massaging my turkey with the well seasoned paste into the succulent feast I desired, popped it into the turkey bag and placed it in the oven. I was wiping off the counters and about ready to head upstairs to dress when I noticed. WHERE IS MY BANDAID?!!!!! I looked on the floor, in the sink, in the trash trying to not face the inevitable - could it be in the turkey?!!! After exhausting the other possibilities, I went into the turkey bag to check for the offending missing article and could. not. find. it. Now I was running out of time - I needed to get dressed and I didn’t have anytime to practice now. I put the turkey in a new bag and dejectedly went upstairs. I was horrified! Would if the charred remains of my bandaid showed up on my guests plate? 

By the time I got to church I was a wreck. I immediately dragged Wayne into the office to fill him in on the tragedy. “I cut my finger on a piece of turkey bone and put on a bandaid...” Sob sob “And I looked all over and couldn’t find it and even opened up the turkey but it was no where! It’s got to be in the turkey, so when you cut it up could you be discreet about it and get rid of it if you find it?”  I could see in his eyes he thought for sure he had married a crazy woman. What was he supposed to do with me minutes before the service was to start? Not my finest moment...

As I was coming out of the office the Sunday School choir director took me aside to ask me Did I know that Will’s violin was broken in half? Well, no, I didn’t. I was shocked. She says he pretended to be surprised by this discovery after opening the case but it was clear it was not new to him. That would mean it happened at home - when was he going to tell us? Was he praying for some miraculous violin healing so that he wouldn’t have to? I was seeing red. But I headed for the balcony with my children where we would sit so I could play my piece during the offering after the sermon was given. I’m sure the sermon had something to do with thanksgiving but all I could think was his violin is broken in HALF? and where, Lord, is my bandaid? and please don’t let the house burn down since the oven’s on and I’m not home!  

I heard the “amen” to close the sermon and stood up to position myself with my violin and play the piece I had worked so hard to play - nodding to the music director to start the music, the introduction began and I began to play about 4 notes before my little daughter decided to run circles around me. My bow went directly into her head, throwing me off my piece and that was the last straw. The music director frantically looked at me for guidance in what to do next as the music played on without me. Forget it. I mouthed to him. I packed up my violin, grabbed by daughter and left church, peeling out of the church driveway, the pastor’s wife, on Thanksgiving, before the service is even over, leaving the music to play without her.....

I’ll be honest - I screamed on the way home. I got home and howled. I poured myself a glass of wine (before noon) and sat out on the backyard patio wondering how everything could go so wrong. I kept repeating to myself - why do I bother? I had everything organized. It should have worked. I had planned for everything. I had made lists, menu planned,  tirelessly practiced, provided my son with an instrument and lessons, welcomed the opportunity to extend hospitality to others - what went wrong? 

This is what I learned :

• Life happens  - Robert Burns said it best the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.  
• I was trying to do too much. Granted, I had good reasons for all of the above.  I can honestly say I was doing it for the Lord  (with the inevitable sins of mine mixed in there). But I had overextended myself and went beyond my limits. No matter how good our intentions are, we all have limits.
• Don’t we try to do everything? Don’t we want a Martha Stewert table and meal? Instead of trying to be Martha, learn from Biblical Martha’s sister Mary. It is better to sit at his feet and listen to his words. It wasn’t wrong for me to skip Bible class but it would have been better for me to be there and be mindfully present for worship than physically present but distracted. 
• Sometimes when we plan or organize we mistakenly think we are in control. Sometimes our plans work and this just solidifies this thought. But the Lord reminds us in Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. I don’t want to be in control. I don’t have the perspective he does. Planning isn’t a bad thing - it’s good to use our time and resources to the best of our ability and planning and organizing can assist us in doing that - but the trick is to keep it balanced with the constant awareness found in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
• We are not failures when our plans fail. Practice what we teach our kids - learn from mistakes, repent where needed, rejoice in Christ’s forgiveness, trust that he knows best and move forward. Look up, not back.

In case you’re wondering how my Thanksgiving story turned out, it thankfully did not get worse. I greeted my guests with puffy, red eyes (from crying, not wine;) but managed a smile and pulled off the hospitable hostess although not my best! We never did find the bandaid. 

Happy Thanksgiving!!! 

Friday Night Lights

Last week I returned back from Wisconsin after spending a long weekend visiting Will and staying with family. It was sometimes more than my heart could take and I often found myself crying while driving the hour back and forth from LPS to Jeff and Steph's. Alone in my rental car with some pop station from Milwaukee playing in the background (do you like piña colada's and getting caught in the rain?!) I was overwhelmed with emotions of how proud I am of my kid, what dear and wonderful friends I have in my life, what a great school LPS is and and how blessed we are to have it as an educational option, and the love of my sweet family that housed me for 6 nights while their crazy, busy lives continued!  

There is nothing like the American high school experience - pep rallies, school spirit, Homecoming, dances and yes - Friday night football. My own high school experience included all these things and some of my fondest memories were in the stands or out in front cheerleading for a game I really knew nothing about (first and ten, do it again!) and let's be honest, I was there for the socializing. 25 years later I found myself back in the stands, cheering on my son's team and watching a game I still know little about. I still responded to the peer pressure and cheered along appropriately with those around me in hopes of not giving away my cluelessness. Go Phoenix!!!!

Not only was I there on Homecoming weekend but it was also Parent's Day and Alumni weekend. There were special activities planned for those able to attend. As mentioned in my previous post, I was allowed to follow Will to several of his classes. Both classes I attended were unique to Prep and specifically to our Lutheran synod. They were both ones I had too about 25 years ago. 

Funny how the view from the student's seat is different than the view of a parent's. 

The first few minutes of Senior year music class was chatting about the recent Shakespeare play field trip taken earlier that week. A Midsummer Night's Dream seemed to have been slightly overshadowed by the unusually hot September temps and sunburns on the neck. But nobody was complaining that they got out of a day of regular classes! After the discussion, it was time to sing and the students got out their first piece of sacred music they had been working on for the upcoming Reformation festival. It was My Hope is Built on Nothing Less set to a different tune than the one from the hymnal. This was my confirmation hymn and I love it dearly. To hear it sung in four part harmony by the 17 year olds surrounding me was incredibly moving. The class also listened to Rodeo by composer Aaron Copeland and wrote their thoughts on it as the movements transitioned. 

The other class I observed was Doctrine.  The first 10 minutes of class was silently reading the Bible. Can you imagine?!!! Then the rest of the period was spent discussing the doctrine of the Trinity. They read through the Augsburg Confession and sited the proof passages of Scripture related to this. They learned what a Fundamental Doctrine was.  This was serious business. 

That afternoon was the Pep Rally which in years past I've watched the Livestream of from home. It was great to be there in person and to watch the silliness (and line dancing) from the stands. 

The football game was amazing! It was a beautiful, hot day and the evening cooled just slightly. The sights, sounds, and smells all brought back so many memories of my own time at MLPS. The Phoenix didn't win that night but they played a good game to be proud of. 

I went back to campus on Sunday so that I could attend church service with Will. I'm impressed with how much they incorporate the musical skills of the students in their worship. They are truly equipping the next generation of church goers to use their God-given gifts to His glory!

Afterwards we went out for lunch, did some shopping, got his hair cut at the local Chop Cutters (haha), and found a coffee shop to sit down at with our iced coffees and played the game of Life app on my phone for an hour. We did nothing spectacular or exciting but just being together was enough. I bought him a Jimmy John's sub, dropped him off at the school, and we said our goodbye's until November. 

Are you starting to understand why I was a blubbering mess?

What really surprised me about the weekend was reconnecting with some friends from my past and the common thread through those short moments of catching up. The interactions that I was most affected by came from friends I knew in a variety of ways:

Prep days (friends since 14, watched each get married, have families, become pastor's wives)

Seminary days (our husbands attended at the same time, we were "Sem Gems", we also became mamas to boys during those years)

Grafton days (last year of Sem, attended same church, fellow hairdresser, spiritual mentor)

Canada connection (among MANY other interwoven WELS connections)

I don't see these people often and I sometimes don't hear from them in years. Maybe it's even just a Christmas card and picture. Maybe Facebook.

In each of these moments with my friends it was like picking up where we left off. We had no time to waste with platitudes and discussion about the weather (although it was seriously warm!).  There was this baring of souls; This is what's hard in my life. These are my struggles and these are my joys. God is good. Great is His faithfulness! 

It wasn't complaining or whoa is me ... it was being real and honest about the struggles on this side of heaven. It was the body of Christ sharing in our constant wrestling of the old and new man that lives in each of us. It was opportunities taken to share something real with a sister in Christ so that I can better pray for you and you can better pray for me. It was humbling to have such intelligent, beautifully diverse, godly women be so open to sharing all this with me. And it was comforting to know that I have friends all over that are cheering me on too. 

Would if we lived our lives this way as Christian brothers and sisters? Why do we protect ourselves by keeping our hurt so close and our burden so heavy? Why do we believe in Christ but fear the body of Christ? 
This weekend in Wisconsin reminded me what a gift we are to each other. 
Keeping in touch doesn't have to be regular or routine but keeping it real when we do connect can be a relief and repose. 

Finally, I'm so very thankful to my BIL and SIL who are always so agreeable to opening their home to me/us/passerbys. I appreciated that Steph still made time to hang out with me even while battling a cold while teaching and going to school. I was also included in the "meet the parents" dinner of the first Halldo grandchild to almost be engaged. It's an occasion in the midwest that can only be accompanied by an old fashioned (says the crazy auntie from Canada).

After the meet the parents dinner in Milwaukee, we made an evening stop at Wisconsin Lutheran College where two of my nieces and my sister-in-law go to school. I'm loving this statue of The Servant - Jesus washing his disciple's feet. 

Jesus did that perfectly as He came not to be served but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many. Matthew 20:28. That righteousness and perfection is now ours through faith. We are now free to serve others in our lives, roles, vocations and jobs whatever they may be! Kinda puts things into perspective, huh?! 

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