I Know That My Redeemer Lives

Our trip to El Paso was brought about by one main reason - Wayne and I were asked by Reid and Brenda to be godparents to Avery. Brenda is a pastor’s kid (aka PK) so she knew that while the baby was due in March - smack dab in the middle of Lent - it was best to plan the baptism for the week after Easter. Good thinking! 

It was a big trip for our whole family to take and was also during the time Wayne was to be in Toronto for pastors’ conference so that’s what brought about having the girls go. Wayne would take Will with him and as it turned out, Will stayed with a pastor’s family in TO while Wayne was in meetings. This helped because Will had something to look forward to and made some new friends out of the whole affair instead of stewing on the fact that we were going to Texas and he was not. Good timing!

And so baptism day arrived on a sunny, warm Texas spring day! I wore a brightly coloured floral dress and cowboy boots to mark the occasion. (Alberta boots, just so it’s clear). The church was still decorated for Easter and the lilies were still in bloom. What a perfect time of year to be “born again of the Spirit”! Having been reminded through our Easter celebration that through our baptism, we are united with him not only in death but “we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection”  (Romans 6:5) -  what is there better than a baptism?!!! 

More noteworthy in the fashion department than what I wore was what Avery wore. She was clothed with the same crocheted dress that my siblings and I wore at our baptisms and what Will wore at his. (Zanna was too big for it by the time we brought her home from China.) 

Brenda’s pastor dad was there not only to visit his newest grandchild but to baptize her during the church service. He had recently traveled to Israel and brought back water from the Jordan to use for the baptism. Not that this makes it any more “holy” but it sure is cool! 

I felt incredibly blessed to be there to hold Avery during the sacrament.  I had expected her to start crying or at least fussing when the water touched her head (I think her parents were waiting for it too!) but she never made a peep. She was such a good baby through the whole thing - the all important “cake eating” with the congregation afterwards and as we reenacted the baptism for picture taking purposes. 

It was definitely emotional for me as she was baptized in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit and a reminder of my own baptism and when Will wore the gown last almost 13 years ago! Despite getting teary-eyed, I was thrilled not to loose it in the end and save my mascara from smearing! 

As we left the baptismal font to walk back down the aisle, the music from the grand piano began to play and we heard the congregation sing:

I know that my Redeemer lives; What comfort this sweet sentence gives!

He lives, he lives, who once was dead; He lives, my ever-living Head!

He lives to bless me with his love; He lives to plead for me above.

He lives, my hungry soul to feed; He lives to help in time of need.

He lives to grant me rich supply; He lives to guide me with his eye.

He lives to comfort me when faint; He lives to hear my soul’s complaint.

I exited the worship area with Brenda assuming that she’d want to change Avery out of the dress right away if she thought she was too warm. Instead she muttered the words to me, “This is the song that we sang at my mom’s funeral”, right before she broke down weeping. 

She had lost her Mom to cancer only a few short years ago. I could only imagine her acute awareness of not having her around at the baptism or birth. Mom and I were there to do the best we could but no one can replace your mom and we knew that. Her Dad came out then and they held each other tight and I held Avery tight in my arms rocking her. Brenda called out to no one in particular, “Why? Why does this song have to play right now of all times?”. 

As I looked down at Avery in this moment I saw her in the dress that I wore and her Daddy wore and Auntie Bekah wore and my baby wore on our baptism day - what better picture of grace is there when a helpless infant is brought to faith in Christ through no act or decision or work of their own but solely by the undeserved love of Christ? Where is baby Avery’s grandma today of all days? And it clicked like it had never before. Avery’s grandma may not have been baptized in this same baptismal gown but she too had been clothed in Christ. He is her Redeemer too and it was declared loud and clear at her end! How fitting that this song would play now - at Avery’s beginning! 

It was only afterwards that I noticed the front of the bulletin that day. “I Am the Alpha and the Omega.” Revelation 1:8. The beginning and the end. He the source, the ending he, of all the things that are, that have been, and that future years shall see. Evermore and evermore. “Of the Father’s Love Begotten” (CW 35). Evermore.  My word of the year. There is no “circle of life” but rather, an infinite span of time. 

In Christ, there is no beginning and no end. Because we have been clothed in his righteousness, we will live eternally with him even though we die. And he knows us even before our parents do. Evermore. 

We did manage to somehow get it together to rejoin the rest of the family in worship but not before my mascara smeared (rats! so close!). And I heard Brenda say before we went back in, “It’s like Mom is here”. And I suppose in a way she was. But most of all, I was moved by what a gift in light of eternity God had given to all of us. I know I had a profound moment of clarity even though the experience was bittersweet.