Point of View

Over the years I have kept a gratitude journal. But there's a very curious phenomenon in my recurring use of it - it gets strangely silent in the winter months. As in - blank space, crickets chirping, all that. And then all of a sudden comes spring and it's pages are filled to the brim with things, places, people, smells, sounds, etc. that I am thankful for. The pace usually keeps up through the summer months although may become sparse in between summer trips and such. The fall months don't have regular entries but are more sporadic, usually peaking at October that coincides with Canadian Thanksgiving. And then it goes silent. This pattern has been the same for 4 years! Clearly I am not a winter person and could probably exercise my gratitude muscles during this season. And clearly the coming of spring is such a momentous occasion that I swell with thankfulness in all mundane things such as: there being no snow in my front yard, I don't have to put on a winter coat to get the mail, and my personal favourite - the first spot of a street sweeper! 

And speaking of seasons, how about our seasons of life? I gotta say, I'm in a sweet spot right now. I have stability, a little more wisdom that comes with a little more age, date nights with my husband, a full 8 hours of sleep each night, children that can pretty much take care of themselves and that I can leave for periods of time to run errands or go for a walk with my hubby. I can read books, write my thoughts on this blog, study God's Word, plan my menu for the week, shop, and use both hands to cut and chop vegetables for dinner. Life is sweet. 

Last week I was thrown back in time with the addition of some mini houseguests. For 4 days and 4 nights, I went back in time to mothering a 4year old and a 7 month old. Suddenly my season changed and like an early spring shoot coming up from the earth only to experience a sudden frost, the question for both of us was the same: would we survive??????

I'm writing this so clearly I did survive. But I came out of it with some gems of wisdom (I'd like to think) for those of you in the trenches of mothering little ones. From one who has been there and made it to the other side and then briefly experienced it again if only for a few days, I come with a flood of memories and a point of view from where I am now. This is for you!

• Take a nap. For the love of Pete! Mothering is tiring and exhausting!!!! If you see an opportunity to lie down and put your feet up if only for a few minutes, Take it!!! And don't feel guilty, might I add. This is a full time job and takes a lot out of you. Now go lie down!

• Cry. Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. If you feel tears welling up in your eyes because you just don't know if you've got it in you, let it go. It's cathartic. You'll feel better after crying. If it works for the baby it can work for you. 

• Get out. I know you may be referred to as a "stay at home mom" but that does not mean you should stay at home all the time. If you are dying for fresh air, chances are the little ones are too. Take a walk, push the stroller, run and jump (or at least let them if you're too tired). Guaranteed everyone will feel better! As my Grandma used to say, "Go blow the stink off ya!"

• Too rainy or dreary to go outside? Ikea or McDonalds. No one is judging you, sister. Do it if you have to. Both these locations are family friendly, have indoor play areas for little ones and have the potential to help you keep your sanity. They also both serve ice cream cones. Score for everyone! 
• Accept help when it's offered. I am not ashamed to admit that I had plenty of help last week watching these precious kiddos. My mother-in-law was visiting at the same time and was incredibly generous in what she was willing to give of herself. She took the baby when it was obvious I needed a break! Zanna was ever willing to strap baby into the umbrella stroller and take her for a monotonous cruise around the house until she was calm (or asleep). Will willingly did clean up after meals and dishwasher duty. Even Wayne was in on the action going on walks with all of us and pushing the stroller. A friend from church brought us all lunch one day - coming over with 80 freshly made Chinese dumplings and boiled them on my stove! Another day, a friend invited the kids and me over to her house just to unload! Between her crew and mine, we all had a "friend" to hang out with! I am so thankful that God sent all that help my way and sustained and encouraged me through the love of others. We may be tempted to say an "I'm fine" response when help is offered but believe me, it's much better to say "OK, thanks"! 

• This too shall pass. I promise. There will come a day when you can read a whole novel. At some point in your life you will be able to establish a regular devotion time. Someday you will take a shower and get ready in the morning without children screaming for you. You will be able to make meals that take more than 15 minutes of prep time. Seriously! For now - master cutting vegetables with one hand while holding baby in the other. Pick a hairstyle that is easy to maintain. Read a magazine! Pick one verse of Scripture and post it on the fridge to think about during your day. 
• Alone time. Forget about it - for now. I remember when Will was 3 months old and we had just moved to Michigan. I experienced a fall that resulted in a big hole in my knee and I needed to go the emergency room for an x-ray. I kid you not, I remember thinking how nice it was that I could relax and lie back in quiet! Never mind I almost seriously injured myself - this is how desperate I was! I also remember having day dreams of getting a hotel for a night by myself and just sleeping. In this season of life, there's not a lot of alone time - but there will be. You'll be able to go to the bathroom by yourself. You'll be able to finish a conversation on the phone. You'll follow through on that train of thought. Someday. 
• Don't forget your husband. Believe me, I get how hard this is. And do as I say, not as I did this last week. My dear husband had a lingering cough from the flu which sent him to the couch at night so as not to wake the baby. I was also reminded last week of how I work. When I've got a baby on me practically all the time, my touch "love language" is pretty well filled. I don't need to be touched anymore! But someday the children will grow up and someday the children will move out (that's the idea, anyway) and the two of you will be looking at each other. Will you see a friend and lover that you see as another gift from God providing love, support and encouragement or will you see a stranger? Make him a priority, sister! Even if date night is defined as pizza and a movie in the living room after the kids go to bed, light a candle, snuggle on the couch and see where it goes .... 
• Cherish the moments. The sound of a baby chugging back the bottle in satisfaction, the belly laughs of a boy watching Kungfu Panda for the umpteenth time, the little chubby hand that grasps for yours while crossing the street, finding matchbox cars in the strangest places - it goes so fast! These are the moments you will remember with fondness.

• You are doing holy work. Receiving a paycheck does not validate your worth. Christ has validated you already and you are worthy in Him! That means that when you change a diaper or wipe food off faces or give a baby a bath or wipe smeared poop off a wall - you are serving Christ Himself as you tend to His babies He's gifted you with. It is a high privilege to teach a child to pray, to sing hymns of praise before bed, to bless your child with the sign of the cross as he is tucked in for the night. You are raising future missionaries whether they go into the public ministry someday or live out their vocation in their daily lives. You have brought your child to the font of Baptism to become a child of God and now you daily feed that faith with the means of grace right along side pureed apples and kale smoothies. Holy work, mamas!! 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  There are certainly some season's in life that are easier to embrace than others. Right now it's supposed to be spring and it's snowing big, fat flakes outside my window.  It goes against my natural inclination, but I'm going to muster all the strength I've got and crack that gratitude journal open. Or .... dance around while singing Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" might work too;)