Lent 2018

I'll Be Good

Jaymes Young

I thought I saw the devil
This morning
Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue
With the warning
To help me see myself clearer
I never meant to start a fire
I never meant to make you bleed
I'll be a better man today

I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should
Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good
For all of the time
That I never could

My past has tasted bitter
For years now
So I wield an iron fist
Grace is just weakness
Or so I've been told
I've been cold, I've been merciless
But the blood on my hands scares me to death
Maybe I'm waking up today

I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should
I'll be good, I'll be good
I'll be good, I'll be good

For all of the light that I shut out
For all of the innocent things that I doubt
For all of the bruises I've caused and the tears
For all of the things that I've done all these years
And all
Yeah, for all of the sparks that I stomped out
For all of the perfect things that I doubt

I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should
Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good
For all of the times
I never could, oh, oh-oh
Oh, oh
Oh, oh-oh

For all of the times that I never could.

This is my song for Lent 2018. It's not a hymn. Please don't freak out if you're a Lutheran. I still have my favourite Lenten hymns which include "Go to Dark Gethsemane".  

What I like about a mainstream song is that it can do such a good job capturing the human struggle of bad vs. good, awareness that something is wrong, and cries for help. Without Jesus, their hope will be misplaced. They'll try to find it in themselves, in the good they try to do to make up for the bad they've done. Humans can grasp the concepts of grace and forgiveness but without knowing the source of the undeserved love God shows us through sending His Son, Jesus, these concepts fail to assure. 

Poor Jaymes. I feel the weight of all my sin too.  He resolves to fix it by being a better man in the future. But he will quickly realize that his good intentions have severe limitations and before he knows it, he'll be back in the bathtub wondering why he wasn't stronger. I have no idea if Jaymes Young is a Christian.

 I think his comment about what his music video represents is interesting:

About the music video for ‘I’ll Be Good’, Jaymes said “This video represents the harm we do. We harm ourselves when we harm others. It also reflects the re-birth of a forgiven conscience.” 

I think his use of the butterfly is significant. It makes me think of the butterfly I use in my Lenten Garden that sits on the open tomb on Easter morning. Butterflies represent new life. For Christians, that new life is in Jesus. 

In the video his cuts and bruises show the harm done to himself even when the battle is within. We never escape unscathed. We’re broken and hurt. And so are the people around us that we play a part in hurting. We know we’ve done wrong. We wish we were better. All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23

He sits in a bathtub and immerses himself in the water. Baptism. A washing of rebirth and renewal. Drowning our sins and connecting us to Christ and all that He’s done for us. Don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus we baptized into his death? Romans 6:3  (Baptism) ... now saves you also - not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a good conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 3:21  All of you who were baptized into Christ have been clothed with Christ. Galatians 3:27

The fish swimming in the IV drip? That stumped me at first. And it’s weird. I could definitely be reading too much into it but from a Christian perspective it’s brilliant art. The fish has been a symbol of Christian faith in the early church since facing persecution in the Roman Empire. And the purpose of an IV saline solution is to keep you from getting dehydrated. A nurse will hook you up to fluids to keep anything worse from happening to you. Especially if you can’t eat for awhile due to circumstances, this drip will hold you over until you can. The two of these things together show the life support we need to keep going. But it's still weird. 

One of my favourite Psalms this time of year is from chapter 32. David cries out - 

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to you and I did not cover up my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.

David gets to where Jaymes’ lyrics never quite make it. So aware of our sins we cry out to the Lord … and He forgives us. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

The Wednesday night Lenten services are a must for me to be reminded of what exactly Jesus did to forgive these sins. Payment had to be made for my iniquities. Jesus paid it with His very life and death. This is the path I need to walk before arriving at Easter.