Today I am ...

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I have had to make a copy of this printable and post it on my refrigerator to remind myself to be grateful.  During the time of year where Thanksgiving celebrations abound, I am finding it hard to give thanks these days. It's too easy for me to wallow, to get caught up in anxiety or despair or let days pass me by without seeing and acknowledging the gifts right before me. And I refuse to do that! But it's challenging to open my clenched fist and receive what He has to give when I don't want it. But He knows best …

Last week at 5 in the morning, I awoke to a crashing thud and flew out of bed. Rushing to the direction of the sound, I opened my bathroom door only to find my husband unresponsive to me on the floor. I didn't know if he was having a seizure or unconscious or what was happening and I called 911 in a stupor. He woke up mid phone call and walked to our bed confused as to why I was on the phone and who I was talking to. I was confused as to why he was walking around when only seconds ago he lay there. 

The paramedics arrived after he made it downstairs to the couch. He complained that he had been up with severe stomach pains and that was the last he could remember before he woke up on the floor.  He answered their questions calmly and it all seemed like a dream. I went upstairs to calm Zanna down as she had awaked to see the ambulance lights outside her window and wondered what was going on. I let her know that Daddy wasn't feeling well but he was doing better now and tucked her back in to bed. As I was coming down the steps to rejoin the exam, the paramedics started calling out Wayne's name as he fell back into unconsciousness. His heart rate dropped to 20 and I silently begged him to wake up. He did shortly and they explained what had happened to him that he was oblivious to. 

After that he was taken to Emerg and I followed behind as soon as my friend came to stay with both kids that were now up.  I found him in the ER quickly and sat with him as we awaited his blood test results.  It was uneventful, thankfully! The tests revealed nothing unusual or cause for alarm. The doctor explained that he suspected that the stomach pain, perhaps some indigestion, was the cause of the nerve being set off causing him to pass out. He was sent home with dr's orders to take the day off and take it easy. 

I am very, very grateful it hasn't happened since and it could very well be one of those really weird things that happen for no apparent reason. Happens to me all the time, not to him. I have had a host of strange symptoms over the years with seemingly no explanation. Was this his turn? Will it happen again?

This week found us in paediatric neurology at the children's hospital with Will. I had suspected since the spring that his absence seizures had returned after 3 years of being medication free. The EEG confirmed it and we witnessed his brain waves change drastically on the screen. And while this was not news we hoped for, I couldn't help but notice the young patients and their parents come through paediatric neurology while we were there. I was impressed by the calmness of the patients, the strength of the parents and the care and concern by the staff. I am grateful for the medical resources available to us where we live. I am grateful that we are dealing with this now and not a year from now when he's away at school. And I am grateful that God's will be done - even when I don't understand it. 

Faith doesn't wait to give thanks.  It isn't always clear to us what God is doing. And when I need to see what God's up to before I give thanks - that's not faith. Paul told the people in Thessalonica to "give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Faith counts blessings in every situation. Forward in Christ, Nov 2013  article "Give Thanks in all Circumstances" by Kenneth J. Fisher 

It's not about finding the good in the bad. It's knowing that it's all good.

Yes, today I am grateful! 

Beauty in the Dying

 I lift up my eyes to you,

to you whose throne is in heaven.

Psalm 123 - a song of ascents

As L.M Montgomery says in Anne of Green Gables, "I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers." While this earth is full of the riches of God's glory, I must admit I feel sorry for those that miss out on true Autumn Splendour.  It's breathtaking! 

The kids and I went on a nature walk recently and were treated to eye candy all around us - if we were looking. I was busily scanning the uneven ground under me so as not to trip. I was completely missing what was all around me - until I looked up! 

Prof. Deutschlander in his Bible study on the first three chapters of Genesis taught how the physical world around us points to something spiritual. For instance, in fall why is it that the trees are their prettiest and most colourful right before the leaves dry up and fall to the ground?  There is beauty in the dying.

What we see isn't always how it is. And how it seems isn't always what is. Sigh. Too much for my brain. 

"Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly around the earth seeking the successive autumns." George Eliot

Our own household is in mourning as we grieve the loss of Will's pet bird Xerxes. Four years ago this month the little blue budgie joined our family and moved into Will's room and heart. Xerxes was a unique bird full of personality. He and Will spoke their own language with each other and were often found together doing schoolwork, playing the Wii or playing legos on the floor. For me it's not the bird I weep for but the heartbreak and grief my man-boy feels. I want to protect him and keep him from experiencing this pain but I can't. And somehow I know that it's important for him to work through it himself. So for now he drowns his sorrow in the Hobbit and old episodes of the Brady Bunch. And we will always remember our precious bird friend Xerxes. 

Gathering my Chicks

 This hen has gathered her chicks around her for another school year! Let the fun begin:) It's important to stay positive and upbeat when trying to inspire your children to learn.  We've had a great few days of getting back into the routine of things before all the extra curricular starts up next week. Until then, we are enjoying picking up on familiar studies and adding some new ones. I say if it's not broke don't try to fix it. But I also say doing the same stuff can get b o r i n g for everyone, mama included!

Up on the dock this year for optimal learning enjoyment is .... drum roll, please

Bible - Bible History/workbook, catechism study, memorizing Sermon on the Mount, "Jesus our Family Guest" devotion book and Christlight (Zanna)
Math - Saxon 2 (Zanna) Teaching Textbooks Algebra (W)
Language Arts - Easy Grammar Plus (W) All About Spelling (Z) Learning Language Arts Through Literature, Red book (Z) Institute for Excellence in Writing (w) Explode the Code (Z) Handwriting without Tears (Z) 
History - Canadian History (W) Sonlight Core G -Ancient History (W & Z)
Science - Apologia Physical Science and SHEP (outside program for W) Christian Liberty Nature Readers (Z) Scholastic workbooks (Z)
Artist Study - confessionsofahomeschooler.com artist study

My biggest change in the lineup is Will's math. I have freed us from the shackle's of Saxon and have started Teaching Textbooks. We are loving it! As much as one can "love" math.  Nothing against Saxon but it had outlived it's usefulness and contributed to much heartache along with sinful attitudes.

 And you simply must listen to this podcast on a classical, Lutheran education. Not that I'm necessarily doing it, but I am inspired! 

Violin lessons for both kids have started back up again. Will also had his audition for the strings ensemble last weekend and was working hard preparing for that. 

 I'm pretty sure I have the most adorable students ever! And they humour their hen as she attempts to take some back to school pictures. 

The boys are still hoping to get some more golfing in before the weather keeps them from it. Will will be in a homeschool gym class. Zanna is taking ballet again. Both kids will be back in the pool. Once winter is in full swing, they'll be downhill skiing with Dad and enjoying some family ice-skating if the aging parents' backs can handle it! And both kids will play indoor soccer in the winter. While Mama chats it up with friends on the sideline.

Some field trips to the theatre and orchestra are planned. Zanna's enrolled in a monthly cooking class at our local grocery store. I also plan on organizing and facilitating a speech and debate group in the new year. That's the plan, anyway!

I prayerfully commit this year into God's hands. May we learn the lessons that he divinely teaches, appreciate the moments with our hands wide open in thanksgiving, savour the time we have together as family and grow in the knowledge and wisdom found only through him. 

End of summer memories

We've been blessed with another great summer and many memories were made. We hosted the Gumm family who helped us out more than they can ever know! Zanna had her first sleepover as a result of this visit and is already asking for another. We also hosted a missionary from Asia who gave a presentation of the amazing work being done in a country where doors have opened ten-fold in recent years. We had the privilege of seeing Koine in concert again and this time around was the best yet! Our favourite Christian band hands down! 
To wrap up the last week of summer, we were able to attend the Labour Day Retreat again. Hosted at a camp tucked into the Berkshire mountains of Massachusetts, we certainly didn't go for the great weather! It rained pretty much the whole time. We had a few moments of relief that allowed the kids to swim in the pool and enjoy the lake.

We were also able to worship outside Sunday morning and had a beautiful view! 

The lake had this pretty big slide that plummets you down into the water. Looks rather ominous in this picture but this was the early morning fog. It cleared up by afternoon and allowed for a very fun ride!

Zanna had a blast! Will had fun playing soccer with the other pre/teens in the indoor soccer field. 
The main motivation for us going was to participate in the Bible Study that was being led by Rev. Daniel Deutschlander. This spiritually gifted man is the author of two of my favourite theological books from NPH - "The Narrow Lutheran Middle" and "The Theology of the Cross:Reflections on His Cross and Ours".  The Bible study/lecture was on the first 3 chapters of Genesis. It was wonderful! We loved his insight and wisdom found in these beginning chapters of the Word! We were not disappointed ....

It was a great end to a summer of lots of fun moments but it's also been a time for me lately of being in a funk. Brought on by several complicated issues, I know it's just a season. But my tears have flowed lately like never before and I'm tired and worn out. It's been challenging for me to start the school year and I've been delaying it - for several reasons. You can't end what you don't finish and this is the year - the last with both kids. And I don't want to dwell on the "last" part. I want it to be a year of good memories and savouring the moments. That's hard to do when I feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown! So I take a deep breath, look for strength not in myself (cause it ain't there anyway) but hope in the Lord, and pray ...
As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night while they say to me continually, "Where is your God?" These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival. Why are you downcast, Oh my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. Psalm 42:1-5

The rest of our summer ...

We continued to knock off items from our summer bucket list. After making it through a successful VBS, we filled our days with summer fun! 
Will got his first job and received his first pay check! He delivers the area paper and flyers with the help of his trusty sidekick sister. They wander the streets of our neighbourhood with the little red wagon and cart. Right now the main adversity they've had has been some rain and wind. Just wait till winter! 

Inspired by her brother's new career, Zanna started her own business - face painting. Paints had been included in a loot bag she had received from a birthday party. She set up her shop in our front  driveway. So really there was no overhead. She made up a sign, came up with a business plan, made drawings to show her clients and she was ready to go! Her first customer was her big brother. Technically that was her only customer. The neighbour girl joined her and tried a hostile takeover of the business but Zanna stood her ground! 

Items on our bucket list included a day trip to the water park. After dropping an ridiculous amount of money for our family to play in water that is contaminated with large quantities of sweat and sunblock, I managed to chicken out on the first ride I attempted only to slip and fall on the way back from my walk of shame. I received a HUGE bloody bruise on my thigh, scratches along my leg and several gashes on my foot. After taking some time to wallow in pity for myself, we managed to save the day and still squeeze out some fun.
Also on the bucket list was outdoor movie night. There's something magical about watching a movie outside! Complete with popcorn and pop, we had a fun night snuggled under the stars.

For the second summer in a row, we attended a Shakespeare in the Park play, The Merry Wives of Windsor. We enjoyed a picnic of homemade spring rolls and had fun watching this play on a beautiful summer evening.

We ended the month with a trip to Calgary to visit Grandpa and Grandma. We set out for a day in the mountains even visiting the resort we had our wedding reception and pictures taken in Kananaskis Country.

We also had a good time hanging around the house and property and enjoyed a camp fire, roasting marshmallows and petting the horses.

Summer has almost come to an end ...

Summer 2013, BVBS

Our summer can be divided into two parts - Before VBS and After VBS. This post, as described in the title, will deal with Before VBS. 

First up - Camp! Since neither of my kids are used to leaving our house all day with a backpack and lunch with it's contents clearly labeled as to the owner only to return later in the day completely exhausted, day camp is a novelty for us. Zanna spent the week at the Museum of Agriculture and went to "Fun on the Farm" camp. She took daily care of her cow Tulip shown below laying down. I'm not familiar with her girlfriend who seems to be whispering secrets in her ear. 

Zanna had a blast making crafts and taking care of baby chicks along with visits to other animals. They made homemade ice cream, bread, pizza and fruit pops. The week was beautiful weather wise and she spent a lot of time outdoors. She came home happy but exhausted and we tended to walk around on tiptoes since anything could set her off! 

For my birthday this year I received my first big girl camera! I guess when I say received I mean researched and bought myself with the well wishes of my husband. Anyway, I've got quite a bit to learn about this bad boy (Canon T3i) and below are some of my first shots of my favourite subjects. 

Will also attended camp but for serious reasons! He's working on earning his lifeguard certification and took the Bronze Medallion class. This ran 9 consecutive days (with the weekend break) from 8 to noon. I'm happy to report he's passed! One day they met at a local beach instead of the pool. This way they were able to get some experience in the waves. I think he's ready for Baywatch!

I have been busy in a major way having been inspired by the book "Organized Simplicity" back in the spring. This led me to tackle at the time my pantry and bedroom closet. It went on to have me annihilate the basement. This was HUGE. I also redid my hall closet. Before:

Embarrassing isn't it? And then after:

I just feel calmer looking at these pictures. My next to do project is the kitchen. As in take everything out. Clean and purge, put back/get rid of. 

All this big fun has also included playdates, a trip to the movies, lots of time at the parks and splash pads and lounging in our backyard. I love summer! 

LWMS Annual Convention

What the “quick facts” of the 50th LWMS Annual Convention don’t tell you.

Over 2700 people were in attendance at the opening worship service: How do I even begin to put into words the feeling of worshiping with this many people? I heard that this was the largest gathering of WELS people in history. Regardless of whether that’s true or not, knowing that I was surrounded by Christians on this side of heaven that are all united in fellowship, doctrine, confessions and beliefs is just a tiny, wonderful taste of what I can only imagine eternity to be like. To witness 30 pastors clothed in similar white gowns and green stoles but a range of all shapes, sizes, ages and color receive Holy Communion - and then go on to give out Christ’s body and blood to the waiting 2700 people that filled a LaCrosse, WI stadium - was a poignant reminder of what we all are, sinners in need of a Saviour and forgiven by Christ alone. The convention scripture theme was He shall be like a tree Planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper. Psalms 1:3 

Attendance was over 1700: Sure there’s the old adage that “everyone knows everyone” or if you ask enough questions you’re sure to discover you’re related, etc. And I did know some people but most I didn’t. The connection may not have been relation or even knowing the same person. The connection with every single one in attendance was through knowing Jesus and being united in purpose: to support and encourage mission endeavors in the WELS. I could never imagine that if I wasn’t there myself. These men and women are there because they get it - there is nothing more important on this earth than sharing Jesus with the world. Nothing. No matter the cost. Nothing. 

Mission Presentations

Pastor Nathan Berg~WELS Mission Restart, Faith, Black River Falls & Cataract,Wisconsin

LWMS Nepal Mission Trip

John Hildebrant~Asia

Pastor Pheng Moua~Imannuel Hmong, St. Paul, Minnesota

Pastor Joel Schulz, VBS Camp Support, Cross of Life, Mississauga, Ontario, Canada

Naoko Aminaka (formerly of Chiba, Japan) La Crosse, Wisconsin

Pastor Terry Schultz, Haiti Mission, Dominican Republic

How do I even begin to describe the emotions I had in listening to the individuals listed above?  I was riveted by the Hmong pastor’s saga of he and his mother and siblings leaving a refugee camp in Thailand but not before promising his father (the local shaman) that while he should take full opportunity of everything the US had to offer he must never become a Christian. Determined for years to honour this promise, he fought God until eventually he came to faith and then fought entering the ministry until he realized God had different plans for him!

I was inspired by the Schulz’s soccer camp story and how they’ve poured all their best into reaching the children of the community in this way, leaving the results up to God. 

I was relieved to hear the news of what is being done in India and Haiti and how the love of Jesus is being shared with the poverty stricken and those tangled in webs of false religion and taboo. 

I was proud of my friend and fellow pastor’s wife who gave her honest and witty story of her recent mission trip to Nepal. I was moved by the faith of these Nepalese women who made such extreme efforts to meet together in God’s Word. I cried for the bond we have with these Christian women most of us will never meet until heaven.

I was brought to my knees in repentance. I have not always showed love to the lost. I have not always given my best to the Lord. I have not made the effort to boldly combat false religions with the truth and freedom of the gospel. I have not embraced every opportunity to gather with my fellowship of believers to be in God’s Word - in the same town, no less! I am grateful to have a God who forgives me and who has done all of the above in my place perfectly. And I am humbled and overwhelmed with his grace and mercy... 

Workshops and Bible Study

 "Different Ways to Share Jesus with Your Spanish-Speaking Neighbors" ~ Pastor Daniel Schmidt,

"Establishing Roots in the Community!" ~ Staff Minister Daniel Schoeffel and Wendy Schibbelhut

"Prepared to Answer – Insights from a World Missionary" ~ Pastor Michael Harman

"Reaching Muslim Women in My Community" ~ Pastor Pieter Ried

"God’s Church in Thessalonica:  Like a Tree Planted by Streams of Water" ~ Pastors Brady Coleman and Jeffrey Mahnke, LWMS Pastoral Advisors  

It’s not possible to attend all the available workshops and Bible studies offered as time does not allow. My registered choices this year was the Bible study on 1 Thessalonians and the workshop on Muslim outreach given by a former missionary to Indonesia. The Bible study was a whirlwind of Thessalonians and provided enough information to take the material back home with me to ponder. The Muslim outreach provided me with information on what the religion actually teaches (not necessarily what many followers believe). That’s the “easy” part. How do I describe my feelings while hearing what being a Christian in Indonesia is really like? The man giving his story often had tears brimming as he talked about these people. I was overcome by his love for these people and his willingness to risk his very life to teach the gospel. How do I describe seeing a picture of the decapitated heads of teen Christian girls murdered on their way to school - A story no newspaper or tv reported on or a crime that was never prosecuted. There are no apathetic, lukewarm Christian in Indonesia and other Muslim dominated countries because frankly, they can’t afford to be. They either boldly declare Christ as their Saviour or they don’t at all. 

Again, I am brought to my knees in repentance and I cry for the way I’ve treated a Muslim neighbour of mine. I am ashamed that my hatred for the religion overshadowed my love for her lost soul. I have not been bold in my confession. I am often more concerned about what others think of me. I am grateful to have a God who forgives me and who has done all of the above in my place perfectly. And I am humbled and overwhelmed with his grace and mercy... 

Offerings 

2012-2013 Home Mission Project:  VBS Camp Support ~ $53,284.22

Project #HM-2012-16 ~ Students in Multi-Ethnic Seminary Program - $37,610.68

Project #WM-2012-18 ~ Indonesia Projects - $37,610.68

Project #HM-2012-14 ~ Caribbean Missionary Conference - $29,548.37

Project #WM-2012-05 ~ Nigeria Projects - $29,548.37

There was some serious dough handed out to the various projects that had been voted on.  It didn’t just come from mid-air. It was given in love and thankfulness to Jesus. And who says collecting coins can’t add up to much? To God be the glory! 

This was personally my 5th convention I’ve attended and a few things struck me in particular. I was impressed with the use of technology and audio/visual that enhanced the message and connected the audience to the presentation. I was also made aware of everything the synod and various affiliate organizations have been doing coming out of the wake of previous years of financial constraints. At the time we groaned and cried at having to make cut backs and close missions and rightfully so. But what God has proven is that he works despite all that. And often times adversity breeds ingenuity. 

It was 4 crazy days of an emotional rollercoaster. I’m not going to lie! And you know what? I’d get back on that ride any day. The clarity of mind I left with was priceless - that me and you, all God’s people - have been Planted with a Purpose. We are where we are in our lives for a reason that’s bigger than clocking in and clocking out at the end of a day or even week. The closing hymn at the opening service reminded us:

Spread, Oh, Spread the Mighty Word (CW 576)

Spread, oh, spread the mighty Word; spread the kingdom of the Lord

Everywhere his breath has given Life to being meant for heaven

Tell them how the Father’s will Made the world and keeps it still,

How his only Son he gave All from sin and death to save

Tell of our Redeemer’s love, Who forever does remove

By his holy sacrifice All the guilt that on us lies.

Tell them of the Spirit given Now to guide us on to heaven

Strong and holy, just and true, Working both to will and do

Up! the ripening fields you see. Mighty shall the harvest be,

But the reapers still are few; Great the work they have to do.

Lord of harvest, grant anew, Joy and strength to work for you,

Till the gathering of nations all See your light and heed your call. 

Next year’s convention: 2014 - 51st Annual LWMS Convention, June 26-29, 2014 ~ hosted by Red River Circuit,  Dallas, Texas           See you there?!!!!!