Every Knee Should Bow: Amen

I love our Lutheran liturgy! Even though I've been blessed to experience it my whole life, I am still affected by the corporate confession of sin we begin each and every Sunday with. It never fails to escape me that as I'm publicly confessing my own sin, it's the people I share a pew with that get to live with those faults and often take the brunt of my weaknesses and failures. How sweet it is to hear words of absolution from the mouth of my own husband speaking as a called servant of Christ and by His authority! 

Amen.

Yep. I'm a liturgy lover. And it's not just for church - I bring it into our home too. 

I decorate liturgically. Seriously. Those colours you see changing on the altar at church throughout the year? I do that at home. Right now it's the colour purple found in my candles, runners and napkins. Notice how stark the altar looks during Lent without any flowers? I do that at home too. Except I take down all my tchotchkes and knicknaks and don't replace them with anything. It's bare and plain and bonus: I can dust easier! I also have a "Lenten tree" which has artwork of Jesus' passion history hanging from it's branches. For Lent I take off my toe nail polish that I usually keep pretty year round. I blame my mother for that weirdness. What's the point if I'm still wearing boots this time of year?  I look down at them in the morning, at night and once during the week when I take Hosanna to swimming and I'm wearing flip-flops. In all these cases, they are reminders I surround myself (and my family) with that remind me of my need and point me to my Saviour in random moments throughout the day.  
There's more but I fear I may have overwhelmed you;)

The purpose of the liturgy (and what I strive to do at home) is to keep our eyes on Jesus. Everything points to Him. Every part teaches us about Him. Our hymns are taken directly from Scripture and tie into the service. The colours and banners and paraments all have meaning and point to Him. Because Amen is used so often in all of it, we can easily gloss over the weight of it's meaning. It's important to be reminded of why we say this word and that it's only through Christ and His saving work that it holds any certainty! 

But Amen as a name for Jesus is such a perfect name to meditate on as we begin Lent! As we enter this season of repentance and renewal, reading the words to the church in Laodicea are words meant for you and me too. My first reaction to reading this section was Yikes! Glad He wasn't talking to me! Until I realized He was ...

Enter: repentance. Sweet sisters-in-Christ, let us stand together in spirit and unity if not in body when we worship on Wednesday night and recall the words our great Amen spoke when he said in Revelation 3:19-22, "Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."

Amen promises to forgive us in our repentance! He's speaking to His children here, His church, as we are members of this family. It's objective truth. Not based on whether we feel forgiven or not, we can know that His Word is truth. 

Your assignment for this week: make an effort not to gloss over this word used so often but meditate on it. Take the time to appreciate both uses of it - the subjective use that often is part of our prayer life and liturgy - but also the implication it brings as a name of Jesus! Find comfort in the assurance of your forgiveness. 

What does the liturgy mean to you? How do you keep Lent and how does that point to Jesus, our Amen? 

Every Knee Should Bow: Introduction and Lent

Welcome to all my new study buddies as together we start our journey of looking closely at 6 different names of Jesus during the season of Lent! 

You already know that you are my guinea pigs and I thank each and every one of you for taking a chance on something new. Where two or three come together in His name (even online!) He promises to be with us. 

Before we dive into the study, I'd like to do a quick introduction for those that may not know me. First off, I've been writing at this blog for 10 years. My original motivation was to use it as a travel log and way to communicate with family and friends while we journeyed to China to adopt our daughter.  Since then I've continued using it for those purposes since we live far away from ALL our family. I've personally enjoyed it as an outlet of expression and creativity, to journal our family life (since I'm prone to forget), and to keep connected to others. 

I introduced the idea of a blog book club for Advent, 2013. I continued that idea for the following Lent and have done at least one if not both of those every year. It's been so much fun hosting these and I have been so spiritually blessed by the experience. But this is the first time it's not based on a book but on what I've studied and written. Hence, the guinea pigs:)

We're a pastor's family in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. We've been here almost 15 years right out of seminary. I'm a DMLC (Dr. Martin Luther College) dropout turned hairstylist, homeschooler (oh, the irony) for 12 years, and homemaker/home based hair studio stylist. My passions are learning, reading, cooking, baking, decorating and all things home. I'm blessed with a great husband who takes my crazy ideas and makes them happen, fixes them when they're broken, and makes sense of them when they don't. I'm also blessed with two great kids - Will, who is 16 1/2 and a junior at Luther Prep School in Watertown, Wisconsin and Zanna, who has just turned 11 and is a mini me Chinese version. OK, enough about me.

Lent

If you haven't watched it yet, please take a minute now to look at the short video posted above about Lent. There are some misunderstandings out there as far as what it is and what it's not. I think this one does a great job at focusing us on several key points that tie in really nicely to our study of the names of Jesus. 

Here's the thing about it for me: 

I'm not ready...for Easter.
I need to set aside this time of year to examine my heart and see it for what it really is  - sinful and broken. I must see how truly great my need is for a Saviour so that when I see Him in the passion history readings throughout the midweek services, I better comprehend that it's for me. 

My soul could use some significant time to meditate on the suffering and death of Christ and appreciate the lengths He went to for the whole world! It's a break from the alleluias. Not to wallow in some self-condemning misery for 40 days, but all the while knowing the sweet gospel message of Jesus overcoming sin and death and that my own sin is buried in His triumphant death and resurrection!

Now we've sung our final alleluias this past Sunday and we enter into the season of Lent to focus on our Saviour. My prayer is that this study will be a way to do just that! With each name we draw closer to understanding who our Saviour is and what that means for us. It's also a time of reflection and repentance as we consider our need and how He met that need in love! 

I'm going to meet you back here this Sunday to discuss our first name, Amen. I want you to read the chapter and take some time to consider it. I encourage you to use it in your prayers to Jesus this week calling on Him with this name! Listen for the usage of it in the church services you attend and don't let it pass you by. 

You can come back here at any time, of course! But Sunday will be when I will put my post up. You'll actually have all week to make comments, continuing stewing on it, etc. Lent isn't a time for rushing ... it's time to slow down. Meditate. Focus on your Saviour. 

You should have read the introduction What's in a Name? by now. Since the introduction is all about names, I'd love for you to introduce yourself. Where are you from? What does your name mean? What do you appreciate about Lent? Comments or thoughts on the introduction? 

Every Knee Should Bow

I'm so excited to announce another Lenten study hosted here at the blog! This is on a topic I've been studying for over a year now and have learned so much from. I've been looking at the names of Jesus - and not just the ones we usually hear about especially around Christmas like Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, etc. I've been looking at names like Amen, Alpha and Omega, Second Adam and with each one been amazed at the insight into Jesus it has brought. 

This is the first study I have written so straight up: you are my guinea pigs, please and thank you. I have studied each of these names with my (WELS) pastor husband, gone through again with a fellow pastor's wife/friend, passed it on to another good friend who went over it with me during coffee and walks, and again with my husband to sign off on making sure it's heresy free. 

I really, truly think this may be a study that's been needed and missing from what's out there. I have had so many personal lightbulb moments that it's brought to light (haha) how much I've been missing from the richness of the inspired Word of God. Aspects of Jesus' nature of true God and true Man are always found hidden in these names and reveal truths that are so incredibly comforting, insightful and encouraging. I am definitely ready and craving to talk to you about this as we learn together! 

This is the deal.
You're going to need a copy. I'm no genius so you're going to have to contact me at my email - r.halldorson@gmail.com - and I will send you either an e-pub that I know you can read in iBooks or a pdf that you can read for sure in Kindle. The e-pub is more book-like and is easier to read, I think. There's a table of contents but please note - each chapter is a page off of what is listed. I don't know why. Like I said, not a genius, but if it's a page off I feel confident you can figure it out:)

It works out to be a name a week through Lent. No pressure. Read it at your own pace. Come back to the blog in your pyjamas. No one is judging you, friend! 

I have considered an alternate Facebook private group but I'd like to hear from you what you'd prefer. Do we keep discussions in the comments here on the blog? Do we also meet on Facebook for more privacy? I would like to encourage as much participation as possible and I need to know from you what you are most comfortable doing. Leave a comment below or when you email me for the study.

Lent starts March 1st and so will we! There's an introduction to start with so we'll chat about that first. I also want to discuss what goals I hope and pray you will walk away from this study with. 

Any questions? Let me know.

I pray you'll join me in this and grow with me in wisdom and understanding this Lenten season as we study the names of Jesus revealed to us in Scripture. 

contact me at - r.halldorson@gmail.com

Quick Links to study:

Introduction/Lent
Amen
Second Adam
Alpha and Omega
Advocate

The Rest of the Story

Something I wrote for my Christian sisters … and to myself. As a pastor’s wife/hair dresser, I’ve been honoured that hearts have shared their hurts with me. I’ve been humbled to carry their stories with me and I don’t forget. Everyone has a story. Everyone. So when I read the words of Romans 5, I wrote it with these stories in mind, along with my own, to share the hope that we have only in Jesus. 

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Roman 5:1-5

Everybody has a story. The older I get, the more I see this fact. People aren’t always willing to be open and honest about their struggles but it doesn’t mean they don’t have them. It’s not all Pinterest perfect.

Everybody has a story. Life can hurt, even for us Christians. We suffer pain - physical and emotional. Our families don’t always get along - in fact, behind closed doors wars are being waged! We quietly care for those in need - aging parents, disabled children, a spouse with declining health - all the while denying our own care and sanity. We struggle with addictions. People hurt us. Our children die. Our parents die. Our health fails. We loose our jobs. We suffer.

How do we possibly REJOICE! when this is the reality of life? 

Read the rest of the devotion here .....

Our Journey to Hosanna {Lord, Save Us!}

Ten years ago, there was a baby on the other side of the world who had no mother and father to take care of her. She was helpless. Being just a baby, she didn’t know she was helpless but she was. Her basic needs were met by other people. She was unaware of anything missing. 

These were the first photos given to us of her. I carried them with me and had a copy by my bed!

At the same time, Wayne and I wanted a baby very much. We had a long list of things to do before we would hold a baby in our arms, but we made the effort because we wanted so badly to grow our family. We found and hired an agency, met with a social worker multiple times, had medical tests taken, filled out tons of paperwork, spent a lot of money, and took parenting classes. We prepared a room for her, all girly and pink! We applied for visitor’s visas, were given shots for traveling, arranged childcare for Will, packed our suitcases, flew in an airplane for 16 hours and continued to check items off the list as we went along. We were motivated to do all this because we loved this baby before we even knew her. We did all the work while the baby spent her days not even knowing what we were doing for her. 

It looks like a pink bomb exploded in here! Can you tell we were excited to get a girl?!

After being an only child for almost 7 years, Will was excited to become a  big brother. We threw him a special party before we left for China. 

The day finally came for us and baby to meet. We lovingly held her, rocked her and spoke soothing words of comfort. Si Rou screamed in defiance. She did not know us - we were strangers. What we spoke to her was a foreign language she did not recognize. The baby cried out for the life she knew. She didn’t immediately respond to the love that was freely given to her. 

Seriously don't know why my hair was so big. It would be the last time I'd be able to style it for the rest of the trip. 

This was the look - broke my heart! She was so scared.

Finally she cried! I tried to explain to her that once she gives us a chance, she'll see we're really awesome people. Practically everyone likes us! :)

We were heartbroken that she did not return the love we were giving her, but we understood. We continued to hold and care for her, often singing or murmuring soft words of comfort. We tried our best to be patient. Meanwhile, the adoption became official and we gave her a new name, Hosanna, and a new family name. She was now ours. She was loved. We became a family.

It's official! She's all ours!!

What a ceremony! We had a really great travel group and it was comforting to go through it together. One couple received twins!

Then one day something wonderful happened! Hosanna responded to this outpouring of love and care with a smile! She started to resist less frequently the affection shown to her. She didn’t decide to love us back; she reacted to what was already there, planted by the seeds of love and watered with the repeated care and dependability that we showed her. 

Precious girl!!

This is a personal story about how my daughter, born in China, came to be part of my family. But it can also be a story about how our Heavenly Father adopted each of us into His family. 

There was a time we were helpless. We didn’t have the eyes of faith to know that we were dead in sin.  John 8:47, “He who belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God.”  Maybe life seemed fine! Especially if our felt needs were being met and things were going seemingly well, we may not have known what it was we were even missing! 

Regardless of when you came to faith, God was busy doing all the work. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13  He made us! He lovingly fashioned us before we even met another human being! I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness. Jeremiah 31:3  Before the world was even made, he knew his children. What comfort to know that he loved me and planned for me to be brought into his family and live with him eternally. Maybe there wasn’t paperwork and forms to fill out, but there was a plan. This plan included sending his own Son, Jesus, to live a perfect life for me on earth, suffer for my sins on the cross and triumph over death and the devil so that I have the assurance of eternal life in heaven. 

Ten years ago, it was hard for my husband and me to be patient wanting so much for the child we loved to love us back. How much more is God so very patient with us! We were so relieved when our persistence paid off and we received the smile, laugh and cuddle that we so longed for because we knew that her response was a reaction to love already there! Likewise, when we respond to the love of our God who relentlessly and patiently pursues us, we are reacting to the faith already given to us by the Spirit. We can’t help but smile, laugh and cuddle in his waiting arms!

Godmother Karen made her pretty dress.

A member from church made her a personalized baptism banner.

Sometimes we are infants when brought into God’s family; I was. Maybe you were days, even hours old when you were brought to the font of baptism and washed with water and the Word. Just because you were too young to intellectually know what was happening, you were being adopted into the family of Jesus. His Father became your Heavenly Father.  Your name now became “child of God”. Your citizenship became not of this world anymore but you became fellow citizens with God’s people and members of God’s household. (Ephesians 3:19b).  

You may have walked many days, even years apart from God before being brought into his family. Maybe you rejected many invitations to attend church. Maybe you tried to hold on the life you knew. God’s Word may have sounded like a foreign language. You may not have responded right away to the love so freely given to you. But slowly a change began and you started to believe because faith comes from hearing the message and the message is heard through the Word of Christ. (Romans 10:17)

There may come a day when our daughter might wonder where it is she really belongs. She will become more aware that she looks different than the family she lives with. She may doubt that we really have the ability to love her as we would a biological child. She may question if she’s even worthy enough to have been given this family who had made such an effort to pursue her and make her theirs. 

If and when this happens, we will reassure her with our words and remind her of our faithfulness to her over the years. We will look at the official adoption papers that legally state that she is our daughter. We will pull out the photo albums and relate to her the experiences we went through to get to her. She can objectively know that her fears are unwarranted - she is our daughter in every way. She can rest knowing that she is where she belongs even when her emotions cause her to doubt.

Big brother waiting at the airport

After a LONG flight,we finally arrive home back where we belong - all four of us!

We may have times in our lives when we doubt God’s love. We may wonder: “Can Jesus really forgive me?” “Am I still a part of His family?” “Am I worthy enough to hold onto this gift?” It’s at those times that we can look to the Word and be reminded of what Jesus has done for us. In his Word, we are reminded of His faithfulness and promises. We can look at our baptismal certificate and be reminded that our sins have been washed away and He’s made us worthy to wear His robe of righteousness.  We have been baptized in His name. We are loved. We are a part of His family. We can objectively know that our fears are unwarranted - we are His sons and daughters in every way! We can rest knowing that we belong even when our emotions cause us to doubt.  

For he chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and good will … In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that He lavished on us … Ephesian 1:4-5, 7,8a 

The reality is that adoption comes from broken - broken dreams, broken bodies, broken hearts, broken people and a broken world. Adoption was not part of God’s original, perfect design. Parents were supposed to raise their children and children were supposed to be cared for by their parents. Every man and woman’s body was supposed to procreate and every man and woman were supposed to provide for their own. But sin happened and our reality is what we have now. Adoption is the answer. Adoption allows a child to be loved and cared for, and adoption allows the love of parents to pour out on a child they wouldn’t otherwise have as their own. 

Visiting the jade factory

Our spiritual adoption in baptism came from broken, too. The need for baptism wasn’t part of God’s original design either. It was after the fall into sin that we so desperately needed a plan that would unite us back to Him because we were now broken and apart from Him. Lord Save Us!! Adoption was the answer. Through the saving work of Jesus, baptism was His plan to bring us back to Him so we could be a part of HIs family again and receive all the benefits of being His children! 

I hope to continue to talk with my daughter about both her adoptions. Yes, she was parentless shortly after being brought into this world. But the hand of God is seen in how quickly she was found, in the temporary but caring home she was given with a foster family, and how she became a part of our family. God knew we would bring her to the font of baptism, that her forever family would teach her about the great, big love of Jesus, and that He would use our family to make her a member of His. 

It's hard to remember a time she wasn't one of our family! Praise God for the gift of adoption!!!

My motto was "what happens in China stays in China". Baby ate french fries and slept in my bed - look at her, how could I say no?

Christmas 2016

Now that we're into January, I'm coming off my holiday high. It was sublime ...

Will was home for 19 days (but who's counting?) and Wayne's mom was with us for a week. Our home went from our relatively quiet three to a more boisterous five!

The first thing to happen was the crapper. No, really, the toilet in the main bathroom went. To be fair, it had been stopping up regularly for some weeks and we kept yelling at Zanna (not really yelling) to stop using so much toilet paper. To which she insisted she was only using 8 squares and surely that wouldn't be too much? So we blamed what must be her giant bowel movements. She's cute and petite but don't let that fool you.

Will coming home sent the whole thing over the edge - and I do mean edge of the toilet. Everywhere. Of course, this would happen on a Saturday when Wayne was trying to not only write his sermon but help a teenager from church fix his car. Now he could add "unplug toilet" to the list. It was apparent that we needed a professional and no one could come out until Monday. 

Not even a professional could save this commode. After using all his plumber tools to no avail, he took that sucker off and shook it hoping to unplug whatever it was that was firmly lodged in the porcelain god. Nope. After hearing the sticker price of Mr. Rooter's cost of replacing said toilet, we promptly wished him adieu (and Merry Christmas) and Wayne went out and did it himself after watching a few youtube videos. 

The week leading up to Christmas consisted mainly of me cooking, and all of us running errands while Wayne basically worked. It actually was better than that sounds!

I baked and cooked till the cows came home! With Will home, that meant no leftovers since he eats them for in-between meals. He gets so giddy with anticipation of what I'm making for the next meal that it fuels me on to culinary prowess, determined to amaze and satiate all with home cooked goodness. I can't help it. It's very fulfilling - and filling:)

Will also takes any and all opportunity to drive me around when he's home. Fran likes to get out and see things and shop. And I needed to keep buying food since we were eating constantly. So every day was planned around our big trip out, wherever that may be, making sure we'd be home in time for dinner. We enjoyed trips to Costco, Loblaws, Indigo and even the mall. I'd have to make sure we all left together after coming in together because heaven knows we can't lose grandma or whichever kid wanders off to look at something shiny! 

Zanna was in the children's Christmas pageant on Christmas Eve. After all her practicing, she did a lovely job and the evening was memorable in it's candlelight, the message of Jesus' birth taught by the children, and the songs our choir sang. Z and I played together on Christmas Day and it's one of my favourite things to do with my kids! 

We had our traditional Ikea Swedish meatballs and lobster tails for Christmas dinner with Jesus' birthday cake for dessert.

Fran went home on Boxing Day and we enjoyed the rest of a quiet week home. We had friends come for dinner, our kids had a sleepover, we got out for a dinner date, and we enjoyed family card games of hand and foot - laughing over what Great Grandma might say if she were here! (I'm not suggesting she's "gone", she just lives in Wisconsin). 

As part of Zanna's Christmas present, we set up a new corner for her in the schoolroom/playroom. Godmother Karen has been teaching her to sew and suggested it was time to provide a machine for her budding enthusiasm. The sewing machine that my grandma had given me years ago (for some reason - I don't sew?) suddenly came to mind and we got it out of storage. Karen inspected it and was duly impressed with the fact that it was all metal and circa 1969. Yep - it worked and the sewing corner was set up. 

Our last day together was beautiful and sunny and we went sledding. Momma's getting too old for it but I went down anyway to experience the rush and excitement of careening off an icy incline. My backbone punished me later. Sometimes family bonding hurts!

 Blessed is what we are - blessed by the grace of our Saviour, His good provision for us, and the constant love and care He shows us! 

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas!

Will flies home today and I'm excited but will be nervous until he is safely home. He has two layovers and a border to cross. My child will be wandering alone, save for Jesus and his guardian angels, around the Detroit and Toronto airport. Prayers, please, that all goes well!!

While he wraps up exam week, I continue with Christmas baking and making treats none of our waistlines need - haha! I've been enjoying the Pioneer Woman and Jamie Oliver Christmas specials on the Food Network lately. I'm also a sucker for the Hallmark Christmas movies that are always sure to have a happy ending! 

Zanna is busy wrapping up her last week of home school among all the other activities going on in her life. She has also been very serious about the memory work she has for the Christmas Eve church service. I've overheard her practicing her lines in the shower, in the kitchen while preparing her breakfast toast, in the back seat of the car and at various times on the couch. She's also been diligent in practicing her violin pieces that we'll be playing together for Christmas Day. The girl is self driven and motivated! She definitely gets nervous but ultimately thrives under pressure. Wish I was like that ...;)

And in case you're wondering - the new Christmas tree lights are a HIT!!! I love them as much as I could love lights. My quest for tree lights are over and I can bask in the soft glow of warm, real non-LED lights!! 

The only thing left to do is for Will to come home and put his ornaments on the tree:)

Praying you have a blessed Advent season as together we eagerly anticipate the coming of our Lord - His first coming long ago as a baby born in a manger, His second coming as we wait for that final day and how He continues to come in both Word and Sacrament, filling us up and sustaining our faith! Joy to the World, the Lord has come!