Double Digits

My baby turned 10. 

I need a minute...

My parents came for this momentous event. It took them 3 days to get here instead of the usual 2 since they ran into a blizzard in the UP of Michigan and the highway was closed down. But they still managed to arrive smiling and ready to party! 

And since I do a party every other year, this was the year. The theme she picked was "Board Games". 

We have a games night at church once a month that she lives for! I'm not a super board game lover - I just never really grew up with it. I was more of a Solitaire player myself (this was before iPhones, people). Anyway, a friend and fellow mom and I from church concocted this idea so that once a month our kids could get their healthy dose of board game playing and unhealthy snack food and so she and I could chat it up without getting interrupted.  

So this was the inspiration for the party and I was just fine with it. Set up a few tables with games, a table with snack foods, have some balloons to birthday it up a bit and we've got ourselves a party! 

She had been asking the last few years for a piñata at her party. I was doubtful we could manage this indoors, but after consulting with Wayne and being assured that he'd come up with something we went ahead with the idea. The old Little Tikes plastic baseball bat was brought in from the cold and found frozen and broken. Again I was doubtful it could provide the needed swing and whack to open the piñata up, but I was assured by Wayne that all it needed was some thawing and duct tape. Finally all that was left was to find a place to safely hang it and I was assured that the Martin Luther College lanyard would be perfect for it to dangle from. Let the party begin! 

The girls had a few games going and also made time for an impromptu round or two of musical chairs which was confusing to me but what the birthday girl wants, the birthday girl gets. Then it was finally piñata time! 

A line was formed and each girl was allowed two whacks at the thing before going to the back of the line. Those little, sweet looking girls were getting aggressive! As holes began showing in the cute cupcake cardboard, the excitement rose as we waited for the final hit that would pour forth treats. I had the bags ready and waiting for the girls to collect there treats in. 

How was I supposed to know that it was up to me to fill up?

Oops.

It was definitely a surprise! Not the kind I was going for, but hey! There sat the empty shell of what was a cardboard cupcake and it's bright coloured tissue paper strewn across the floor. No treats. Rats. 

So this will go down as "the birthday Mom forgot to fill the piñata". That may be so but how about those ice cream sundaes?! 

So what else is going on ... hhhhhhmmmmm... how about the snow? 

I couldn't even get to the mail box one day because of it all.  And it seems a little fishy that we keep getting bad weather on Wednesdays now that we have Lenten services that evening. Which proves my point that snow is from the devil. 

This is the time of year I daydream that someone gifts us a tropical vacation.

This is Zanna's first year in synchronized swimming. She's having a blast and recently participated in a competition. They had individual rounds along with their group performance. She placed silver in them all! Yay, Zanna!!! 

Now if only the temperature would hit double digits, maybe we'd celebrate with a piñata;)

VaLENTine's Day

 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends. John 15:13

I love how the secular holiday of Valentine's Day has overlapped with the sacred days of Lent. While card companies may use the excuse of cupid to shamelessly sucker people into buying sweet sentiments on expensive card stock, the focus of love on this day of paper hearts can be an opportunity to ponder the Greatest Love.

Our culture tells us that Valentine's Day - of all days - is a day to be wined and dined by the one who claims to love you. Restaurants are packed and cater to lovebirds that are looking for romantic in a  space of cutlery clinking on dishes and the hum of surrounding conversations. Christmas's sweets are barely finished when the heart-shaped boxes of chocolates enter the stores. And if you are really in a committed relationship, a trip to the jewelry store is a must. 

The stakes are high and the last thing we want is to be disappointed. I recall the early days of dating my hubby and the first years of marriage when we still tried to live up to these expectations of me expecting things and him obliging. And while giving gifts out of love is not wrong, our expectations and demands of love can be. 

My daughter's love language is gifts. This means she has spent hours on hand making Valentines for us and her grandparents. She has debated in her mind over and over what gifts she would buy or make for each of us. We can say continuously how she doesn't have to buy us anything but that is simply how she expresses her love. She gives. Which is where Lent comes in ...

Our Greatest Love gave too. He set aside His rightful position as Lord of Lords and King of Kings to come to earth in humble, human form to spend his time among humble, human sinners. He lived a perfect life that God demands but that we could never fulfil and gives us His robe of righteousness through the gift of faith.  He gave Himself up on the cross and took the punishment for our sins! He endured separation from God that we rightly earned from our fallen, sinful nature and called it ... finished. He continually gives us Himself through the Word that's preached, heard, read, and spoken. The giving continues in the Sacraments where faith is given in Baptism and He gives us His body and blood in the Lord's Supper to sustain our faith. 

All this He gives! 

God is LOVE.

What a different message than what we hear in this world! Our sinful flesh likes to be served. Our natural condition screams what about me? The culture's motto is you have to be happy first and love yourself before you can love others. 

God's message contrasts what the world claims. The message is big and bold and takes a leap of faith. We put our wants and desires aside just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many. Matthew 20:28
Out of faith and out of our thankfulness to Jesus, we keep giving of ourselves and trust God to provide for our wants and desires. 

We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:18-20

 Instead of expectations and demands, what if we seek to meet the needs of those closest to us? Instead of looking out for me, we give what we have to them? This is a love that can never be disappointed. 

For the Love of Reading

I have this weird quirky thing about my calendar. I don't peek at the next month until it actually starts. I like the little surprise of how cute the picture is and what recipe is showcased for the month - not that I'll necessarily make it. But it's one of my little thrills in life so just let me have it, OK;)

So now it is February and I've been working hard on keeping my resolutions and reading my tail off! I was definitely feeling as though I needed to look at a screen less and concentrate on written words I could feel in my hands, appreciate in my soul and consider in my head. 

The Complete Stories of Flannery O'Conner - 

I had listened to a podcast that discussed the author and her life, writings and influences. Ironically, I had already ordered the book from the library after having seen it on another book list so this made my anticipation for it even greater! In the course of the podcast, the men discussing her work said something to the effect - you won't find her books at your local Christian book store. You won't see it filed under Christianity or even Spirituality in the local book store, but every Christian must read her. The themes that subtlety lie there amongst the words - some words that are very distracting to the reader in their connotations and bigoted characters - had the power to effect my emotions. I got to know these characters and instead of the writer winning me over with tales of "can't help but love them" personas, I was in fact disgusted by them. Until I realized ... I am no better. 

Essentialism  -

So I have this problem. I think everything is important. How can I say no? I see the value in almost every opportunity I have. I've no doubt they all have worth - whether it's filed under my role as wife, mother, homeschooler, pastor's wife, church member, homemaker, hairstylist/business owner, friend, neighbour, daughter, god-mother, blogger .... starting to get my drift? My life becomes chaotic and at the end of the day I've covered a mile wide but an inch deep. Not a good feeling. It's my desire to have the wisdom to know what's essential to spend my time and energy on and likewise, not to feel guilty about what I feel is nonessential and no longer zaps my time and energy. This book was picked in an effort to help me figure that out. I should probably read it again ...

Emma  - by Jane Austen

A classic. And yes, I own this edition with the hardback, fabric cover. It's all about the experience for me! I may read this one in my head with a British accent for effect. The trouble is, I've been working on this book for awhile. If I put it down and wait too long to pick it back up, I run the risk of forgetting the characters and who's who. I want to finish this book! Does Emma doom herself to a life of spinsterhood? What's up with Jane Fairfax? What are Frank's true intentions? These are all questions I am determined to find the answers to ... if I can just finish the book.

A Lifelong Love: How to Have Lasting Intimacy, Friendship, and Purpose in Your Marriage

February is all about the love! I haven't read a book on marriage for a long time because mine is so perfect. crickets chirping. OK, so it may not be because of that. I have a really good one though, and I still got a lot out of this book. It helped me recognize that we're doing a lot of things right - but that there's always room for improvement and weak spots to be aware of. It also helped me better see my own misunderstandings of marriage expectations and how I've been influenced by my culture. Of course, I would have preferred to "Lutheran" it up a bit with a whole section on the value of confession and absolution within the intimacy of marriage and what that looks like but I'm just going to have to add that in myself. 

Grace Abounds - the Splendor of Christian Doctrine

This is another book I've been reading forever. But it's not my fault. There's, like, a million pages. Ok, maybe not a million but there's a lot. And it's not brainless reading. I have to use my brain and it's hard! In order to get the most out of my reading, I usually have to take it in small chunks to stew on for awhile. But if you've ever had the pleasure of sitting at the feet of Professor Deutschlander, you know that it's totally worth it! This book is written for the common layperson who's ready to dig their heals into a greater understanding of truth as revealed in God's Word. 

Food for the soul.

As for the other part of my New Year's resolution, I am not doing as grand - that would be the cinnamon roll part. I have, however baked other things in my defence. I just haven't gotten to the cinnamon roll part. 

Food for the love handles. 

Let the Merry Making Begin ...

The view from my parent's log home in the Northwoods

Perhaps the best time to reflect on the Thanksgiving, Advent, Christmas, New Years season is now that I've put my son on a plane and sent him back to school. It goes so fast with so many memories made that it's overwhelming at times to allow all the goodness to sink in. 

American Thanksgiving brought us back to Wisconsin to visit my parents and to meet up with Will during the few extra days off of school he had. We soaked up our time with him and appreciated the added blessing of grandparents and great-grandparents. Throw in a turkey, a case of 14 Hands, and four decks of cards for Hand and Foot and you've got yourself a party! 

One afternoon found us at the local bowling alley. Notice that Wayne's name is missing. He claimed he had work to do, but we all know the real reason he was a no show. Check out my score below and the writing is on the wall. Chicken. 

We were also able to spend a few days with Wayne's side of the family that lives in southeastern Wisconsin. That meant a trip to the Holy Land  Milwaukee where we enjoyed meeting up with friends for dinner, browsing the aisles of Northwestern Publishing House and a stop at Hobby Lobby. Thanksgiving, indeed! 

We headed back home and hit the ground running. That weekend we had a funeral to attend and our church hosted an Advent by Candlelight for our ladies later that day. It was the 2nd Sunday of Advent, my Christmas tree at home wasn't up yet but it was just what I needed to focus my thoughts on the depth of meaning that Advent brings. Good thing too because business was hopping and I found myself in the salon most days along with trying to give my daughter a decent education. 

Speaking of my daughter, we were able to see the musical Anne and Gilbert at the downtown theatre. We brought along Zanna's godmother, Karen, and enjoyed a lovely afternoon!

The next weekend was Christmas for Kids at church and I had cookie decorating to focus on. I prefer to snag the job that ensures all the kids will love me. 

This was followed by another week of teaching/salon work, another funeral to attend and finally .... Will's arrival!!

And at this point I went into serious nesting mode. It was all about home and traditions and love and hugs and Christmas books and food. Serious food. I had menus planned with all the favourites, baked the treats that are enjoyed with anticipation and made sure the Christmas lights were all on by the time the sun went down at 4.  

All Will had to tell me was, "I'm actually looking forward to you making me eat vegetables because when I'm on my own, I have good intentions but then I say ... nahhhhhh." And that boy was greeted with a fruit/veggie smoothie almost every morning along with a host of other opportunities that were highly satisfying for me to observe his vegetable consumption. 
There was definite improvement in his packing skills this year - he remembered plenty of underwear and his winter jacket. And I also noticed that it didn't all smell nearly so bad as last year. Could hygiene be improving with age? We can only hope ...

Christmas Eve was a lovely affair as all Christmas's should be. Our service was a mix of the children reading parts and playing Christmas songs on their instruments along with our choir singing, Wayne's sermonette and participation of the congregation. Zanna played her violin like an angel and Will kicked butt on his piano piece he had done for the recital at school. (Sorry, should I not say "kick butt" when referring to a song played at church?) Anyway, it was beautiful - the candles lit during Silent Night, the candlesticks on the windowsills, the tree shining brightly ... and my new dress was just as cute as I had hoped it would be when I saw it in the catalog;) 

Christmas Day service was more low-key but also quiet and reflective. Zanna and I played a couple duets together on our violins. It was so special to be able to do that with her! I also noticed when sitting next to Will during one of the hymns that he was singing the bass line. Let's just say I was more than a little verklempt and had a sudden urge to write thank you cards to the LPS music department for all their tireless work. 

This year's Christmas dinner was a bit different in that we invited a guest that we were not related to. By this, I mean a member from church so I guess you could say we are related through Jesus. But you get my drift. I wanted her to feel as much at home as possible so I asked her to bring a dish that means something to her, possibly from her Jamaican background. She decided to bring (what we now know is) a very traditional dish that includes a fruit native to her country. What we didn't know was that this fruit is #3 on the list of the world's most dangerous foods. The ackee fruit's seeds are extremely deadly as in ... you could die. So if you couldn't tell by now, we managed to survive and appreciate this particular dish without succumbing to it's threat. I'm thinking of having t-shirts made up - I survived Christmas 2015 - has all new meaning now! Having said that, also on the list of dangerous foods is the hotdog. Which is hilarious since we keep serving this at all of our kids' programs at church. 

We had a green Christmas with unusually warm temperatures leading up to the holiday. I had no problem with this and wasn't worried that "Christmas wouldn't feel like Christmas without snow" because it's just as well to me! It made up for it a few days later and the kids enjoyed an afternoon of sledding, shovelling, and snowman making. 

Now it's a new year and I've resolved to read more books and make more cinnamon rolls. After all, I have no intention of setting myself up for failure;) 

Chapter 24 - I Do Not Leave You As Orphans

The last chapter! 

Merry Christmas!

Jesus didn't stay as he was and continue to walk the earth. He left miraculously and mysteriously, but with only his small group of disciples as onlookers to his ascension into heaven. 
He left them with his words, he made clear their mission, and he promised to equip them in this task. 
But we do have a last glimpse of Mary, kneeling with the Eleven, with the women, and with her sons who now believed. (150) 
Ten days later, while they were gathered in one place, the sound of a violent wind filled the house. Tongues of fire split apart and rested on each of them. God the Holy Spirit had arrived, and the disciples would never be the same. (150)
The author goes on to remind us that God has not left us either and equips us through his Word and Sacraments. She does a beautiful job describing who the Holy Spirit is, what he does for us and the means through which he works. 
So where is God when we need him? He is clothing us with his Holy Spirit and his power. He is ruling on our behalf, bringing blessing from evil. And he is with us, always - as close as his words in the Bible, as near as his home in our own hearts. (152)

I've learned so much through this special look at the Mary, the mother of Jesus! This will be a book I will continue to look at for years to come! I am so grateful for the author, the timing of the release of the book, and the spiritual blessings it has brought to me! I am grateful to have shared this with my readers, my fellow sisters-in-Christ and mothers in the trenches of life! Thank you:)

Ponder
Your child asks, "Where is God? I can't see him!" How will you answer?
In our family, we like to celebrate Ascension. It falls midweek, and when Easter is later so is Ascension. I like when that happens because then it's easier to be outside on that special day! 

We usually have a picnic. Being outside, with the big sky and clouds overhead helps all ages to imagine what that must have been like. But we don't just keep staring up at the sky like the disciples did until their reverie was broken by the words of the angels. We read the Word of God where he promises us that he'll be there. We recall the words he spoke to those disciples that were still wondering what they were supposed to do now. We are reminded of what he wants us to do today! 

Contemplating their Ascension thoughts:)

Ascension dessert - strawberries on a cloud

One year we each let a balloon go as we prayed for Him to equip us! 

Jesus will come back again! 

Chapter 23 - He is Risen Indeed!

Last year's blog book club was on the book "Behold, I am Coming Soon". One of my favourite parts was imaging the other side of the heavens and the angels singing their triumphant song of Jesus' victory and resurrection! It gives me chills ...

Mary does seem to be strangely absent from the events mentioned here. We can imagine how she must have felt, what she must have gone through, what she was doing. But I guess we'll have to wait until heaven to ask her to really know! I guess if God thought we needed to know before that, he'd have included it here:)

I enjoyed the way the author brought together these different parts of Scripture that were all written about these first appearances of Jesus to his followers and disciples. 

Jesus stayed on the earth for forty days following his resurrection. In that time, he appeared to hundreds of people and he continued preaching. He made sure that it wasn't just a few select people that saw him. He didn't just appear to his disciples and tell them to spread the word. He wanted to be seen by many people and to have numerous witnesses so that not only would they be reassured of his resurrection, but that we would be assured of his resurrection. 

I agree with the author on her application to us on this topic of doubt. Her given examples go far beyond just doubting if he really rose again. I could relate personally to a few of these examples she gave! I too prepare a guest room for Doubt and allow it to settle in with all it's bad habits. (143)

God has certainly provided more than enough evidence to "douse our doubt". His words transform me too, resurrecting my faith and drawing a hallelujah from my lips. (144)

The sword that had pierced her soul left a crack through which light now poured in - the light of comprehension and joy and peace. (145) Beautiful words!!! 

Mothering Like Mary

Kim is another Mom I appreciate hearing from. She has the experience of parenting young adults during that tricky transition time between still being at home and gaining independence on the cusp of making their own families and big decisions! 

I have to say, I wish the author hadn't quoted the Josh McDowell statement at the beginning of this section or for that matter - at all. It really threw me off. It made me confused what she had meant by "doubting" up till this point and confused me as to what Kim was going to say then. So I'm ignoring it for now and I'll come back to the statement in the Ponder section. 

I absolutely agree that we should encourage our kids to ask questions, be in church regularly and even attend a weekly Bible study if possible. When you consider that most kids in public school/university are getting 6 or 7 hours a day steeped in the muck and mire of our world, they need a place they can count on to hold that muck up to the light of truth and see it for what it really is. 

I think overall, our synod does a great job at doing what it can to educate our young people for the world. Confirmation class comes strategically before the start of high school where many will be in a public system of schooling that is not just Godless but hostile to God. I know that my husband takes this opportunity to discuss the evolution/creation debate along with a serious study of Luther's Catechism which is meant to show the why our church teaches what it does based on Scripture. 

But we can't make these kids keep coming to church and Bible class in the years that follow. Too many of them disappear from the pews or never start attending a Bible study where they can continue to grow in the wisdom and knowledge of God. This is so unfortunate as they are in a crucial time of life where they are being exposed to so much in the world that they need to learn to critically think and ask questions. They need to know how to defend their faith. They need to be mentored by those in their church that have been there and done that. And if you want my personal opinion - I'm not convinced even a youth Bible class is the best option - I think they need to be with the adults and glean their wisdom. 

I don't see this so much as a "questioning of faith" or "doubting Christianity" as the phrases the author uses here. I do like the phrases "critically thinking" and "maturity of faith". Which takes me into the Ponder section. 

Ponder

Agree or disagree: "If our kids never struggle with their faith, they will have borrowed convictions." I'm going to go ahead and include the rest of that quote that came before that. "I always prayed for the day that my kids would doubt Christianity because everybody must personalize their faith." (145) I'll be honest and just say I don't know a lot about the Christian apologist, Josh McDowell, but I know enough to understand where he's coming from with this. He comes from a bent of Christianity that is of the belief that a person must (should?) sow their wild oats and then come back and make their decision for Christ after having some time to "explore".  Having that understanding of the quote, I completely disagree. If we are setting our kids up to stray or leave their faith at some point, I can't see that as being good. Faith doesn't come by doubting or struggling - it comes by the Holy Spirit through his Word. 

I talked to my pastor husband about this, by the way. I really was struggling with this and was looking for some clarity.

He pointed out that we don't all have the same gifts of the Spirit just like we don't all have the same weaknesses. Some people do have doubt as their weakness. Absolutely. That could be the way the devil tries to pry them away from the faith. But not everybody has that weakness. Not to worry though - there are others to be had! The devil will use whatever weakness he can find in each of us to weaken our bond to Jesus. So who are we to pray for our kids to have a weakness they may not even be prone to? Shouldn't we pray for strength in the weaknesses they actually have? 

I do, however, want to encourage my children to critically think, ask questions and grow in their maturity of faith which I understand as different from what this quote is suggesting, based on what I know of the theology of the where the quote comes from. 

Even the part of the quote "personalizing their faith" makes me cringe. Another way I would read this is "making it their own". That doesn't sound so bad, but where is the focus? On me. On them. Where's Jesus? 

Finally, please don't misunderstand me as saying a real Christian should never struggle with their faith. I've already said I can relate to some of the applications she mentions in this chapter. When understood in that way, we all struggle in some way. We all doubt - and God has dispelled that doubt with proof of his resurrection and triumph over the grave! Also, I personally have grown in wisdom and understanding by comparing what other people believe to what I've been taught to believe. I've not been threatened by this, but rather they've been opportunities to dig deeper into my Bible and search for answers that solidify what I already believed! The stinker of it is when these opportunities arise and someone chooses not to dig deeper into God's Word, not to ask their pastor or parents, and not to attend church and Bible study regularly. Then they're not hearing truth and run the risk of their doubt drowning their faith. Please, Lord, may this not happen to us or our children!!

Chapter 22 - Hear Him Cry

Well, she got me. 

Jesus suffered and died for my sins. And yeah, I could probably use another look at it through the eyes of Mary to appreciate it in a different light. 

Look, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world

Again, I love how the author incorporates her knowledge of Israel's temple rituals and sacrifices that gives the reader a deeper understanding. I can close my eyes and imagine the smells and the smoke. I can hear the choir sing the psalm. I can see Jesus fulfilling the purpose of why they were doing what they were doing.
Love was what was happening on the cross outside of Jerusalem - love for a world of sinners who had been made a promise at the dawn of time. (129)
I once again consider what it meant that Jesus did all that he did. 
When God looked at Jesus on the cross, he didn't see his beloved Son. He saw sin piled upon sin, guilt piled up on guilt, a stinking refuse of wrongdoing accumulated from the beginning to the end of time. And so God turned his back on his Son and unleashed hell. (130)
And I am overwhelmed.

My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?

Even as he was abandoned by his Father, even as he paid for a crime he didn't commit, Jesus still clung to God with perfect trust and still loved him with all his heart, soul and mind: "Though I cannot even call you Father, yet you are my God!" (130)
Through a mother's eyes. Who can imagine?

I am thirsty

Such a basic necessity but nevertheless, one that this mother could not provide. But now her son, the source of the living water of eternal life, was thirsty, and Mary could no help. 
*would he have had a fever or been sick during his earthly life? This struck me and I wonder ... Still, the point is still there.

It is finished

Jesus' work of salvation is complete: there is not one good deed we can add to it. Jesus has fully paid our debt: there is not one nickel we can offer. The world's refuse of sin has been carried from God's sight: there is no a single damning spot of guilt over which we need to beg, "Out! Out!" When God looks at us now, he doesn't see sin upon sin, guilt upon guilt. He sees his perfect Son. (132)

Father, into your hands I commit my spirit

What comfort in the face of death are offered here on these pages. Our eternity is sure and our place there is certain. We also have real comfort to give to our children when it's time to talk with them about death. We don't have to make this stuff up in order for them to feel better! The truth of what Jesus has done makes us feel better! 

Signs and wonders

All meant to teach us an important lesson - that Christ has triumphed over the grave! We, too will rise again! 

Mothering like Mary

While passing through my Facebook feed yesterday, there was a letter someone had "liked". It was a goodbye letter from a dying woman to her friends and loved ones. It was witty and humorous despite the serious nature. It was honest. But my heart broke for her and the husband and daughter she left behind. Not just because she was dying but because she was dying without the assurance of Jesus as her Saviour. She pleaded with her friends not to fill her daughter's mind with images of her "looking down on them" or as an angel. She especially didn't want them telling her that mommy was in heaven. Then her daughter would think she left purposely to be someplace better. And in her mind, there was no other place better than on this earth with her family. In her mind, there was no heaven anyway. 
I am so thankful that Lisa was willing and able to share her story before passing away. May God continue to be with the family she's left behind temporarily. May they be comforted knowing she is in a better place with Jesus. They will see her again in heaven! 

Ponder
Are you ever tempted to find the cross of Jesus boring? Is your child? What's the solution? First of all, yes - and I am ashamed. I am also repentant and lay my sins of apathy at the cross of Jesus. I look to him to strengthen me in my faith and help me see it with fresh eyes and new appreciation! As far as a solution or ideas for helping a child -There are many things in our worship life that remain constant for good reason - our liturgy, the church year, celebrations, etc. But I also like to bring in different ways to try to keep it new in the way I present the information. Maybe I'll use a new Bible story book with pictures, a new Advent or Lenten devotional, a new song to learn and memorize. I'll add some colouring pages, a game, a new curriculum. Usually if I'm craving a change, they are too! 

*if you know a woman with cancer, contact the Comforter Ministry - A mission of comfort and compassion, reaching out to women with cancer with God's Word and the love of the Comforter through journals and quilts.