Goodbye to my favourite grocery store. I not only get everything on my shopping list for the week but adorable Joe Fresh clothes that somehow make their way home.
Goodbye "Homesense" who became strategically placed next to said grocery store that made it really easy for me to pick up a variety of miscellaneous home items for discount prices I didn't even know I needed.
Goodbye Canadian Cheetos. You are far superior to your subpare American counterpart. Could you be any cheesier?!
Goodbye to the numerous retailers that charge me to provide a plastic bag to put my purchased items in. Are you kidding me? I totally love the challenge of balancing two soup cans, a bag of milk, a bunch of bananas, and three tubes of toothpaste while walking through the parking lot, opening up the trunk with my mind (because I can't reach my keys) and putting all the items into the reusable bags I forgot to bring in.
Goodbye to the powers that be in the city of Ottawa who decided to only pick up our trash every other week. You didn't lower my taxes but now I'm encouraged to use the city provided green bin that has been taken over by maggots. I will truly miss you.
Goodbye reclining overstuffed seats at the movie theatre. It seems like we just met yesterday and you've so enhanced my movie going pleasure. Oh sure, I know they have them in the bigger cities of Texas but I'm not holding my breath that they're coming anytime soon to our new small town. Back to sore backs and not knowing whether to cross my leg to the right or to the left. First world problems.
Goodbye milk in a bag. Yes, everyone knows your taste is far superior. Add to the fact that in Canada they don't allow growth hormones in milk like they do in the States (unless you want to pay extra). But curses when a bag springs a leak! The slow offender usually takes me a few days to realize it's leaking into the veggie drawer and underneath. By then the smell of sour milk begins to ripen and my celery is now drenched in the white stuff. Bring on the gallon plastic container.
Goodbye Tim Hortons. You will never be replaced. I adore you. You may be fast food but you're good food. Where else will I go for an Iced Cap on hot days? No one else makes steeped tea like you do - Orange Pekoe brewed to perfection and ready to go for me! (I tried ordering a tea in Texas at Mc D's and they wanted to give me iced tea. They said hot tea was "seasonal".) You are truly a Canadian gem.
Goodbye to all the people who ignore me when I say hi to them. I've never lived in a place where it was socially acceptable and not an embarrassment to whoever raised you. We are all people. We have mankind in common. Can we not at the very least acknowledge one another's presence in passing with a smile and a "hello"?
Goodbye to all the places I can get to in walking distance that enhance the quality of my life: Starbucks, the drug store, the frozen yogurt shop, two schwarma restaurants, and the bank. I just have to remember to bring my own bag.
Goodbye LCBO (Liquor Control Board of Ontario). Seriously, why do you bother advertising for yourself when you have no competition? We have no choice if we want our booze. You win!!
Goodbye socialized medicine. Look, you've got a bad wrap. Maybe if I had had to wait two years for knee replacement surgery I wouldn't be so gracious. But bottom line is we've benefited from some decent healthcare that we pay through the nose for in our taxes. We don't get bills in the mail and I'm not on the phone with insurance trying to figure out who pays what. Thank you.
Goodbye loonies and toonies. You silly one and two dollar big ole coins, you! While I appreciate the ease of one and two dollar currency, you become very heavy in my purse - especially when I forget you're there and it starts to feel like I'm lifting a baby carrier over my shoulder.
Goodbye French. I really don't want to offend you but you alluded me. I don't even know enough to speak you badly. Yes, learning another language is always a good thing for your brain. In our home we use some serious bastardized German and we can count to ten in Mandarin. There was a time I was on a kick and tried teaching Will Canadian French but we both stunk at it. He even had a tutor for awhile. In this area every kid learns some French in school and has to know it well if they are ever going to get a decent government job someday which is apparently the goal in life. You have made me feel like a failure on more than one occasion. We have sat through French first airline safety instructions, Ottawa summer camps, museum trips and tours, and phone recordings where we have not so patiently waited for the English part to kick in. You're so fast and you don't pronounce half the letters at the end of words. I respectfully bid you adieu.
Goodbye people that help me function. God has strategically placed certain individuals in my life that he works through so I make it through the day. Goodbye, Tish, my hairdresser who has kept me well coiffed all these years. Goodbye, Jackie, who has kept me aligned and adjusted through her chiropractic magic (along with her incredible friendship). Goodbye, my pastor's wife girlfriends, who have studied God's Word with me, inspired outreach ideas, commiserated in our struggles, prayed with me and been there with listening ears and hugs. I love your husbands and kids too! Goodbye, Melissa. You've been there since almost day one when you introduced yourself as my friendly neighbour. We've spent hours together at parks with our kids, shared copious amounts of tea and lattes, and shared holidays as families. Our husbands look like brothers;) Goodbye, clients in my chair, that let me into their lives and provided me with work at the same time. Good bye Ruth, Diana, Christine, Evelyn, Silvia, Tracy, Charity, and numerous homeschool friends over the years. I could not have done it without you. I'm not even kidding. We have cried in frustration together, confessed our secret fears, encouraged each other in our lows and rejoiced in our highs. We've shared curriculum, discipline ideas, and spiked lattes in the middle of the day. Goodbye Angie, my dear church friend whose home we stayed in that first night in Ottawa. Our boys at two years of age became the best of friends and we became mama buddies ourselves. We wondered if they would be potty trained by their wedding. Goodbye church friends who've worked alongside me during VBS and other kids' camps, sang with me in choir, studied with me in numerous Bible studies over the years, celebrated our adoption and baptism of Zanna and threw us a baby shower, celebrated Will's confirmation and high school graduation with us at our home, shared in altar care dressing, drank tea together at tea parties, made real Christmas wreaths that covered us in sap, laughed over Divine Sister's meetings, worshiped and wondered at Advent by Candlelight. You are my sisters in Christ. I will deeply miss you.
Goodbye Canadian dollar! We pay US tuition. You're exchange is killing us.
Goodbye Canadian flag. Even after 16 years of living here (and more before that on visits) I am still taken by your perfect colours of red and white and the beautiful emblem of the maple leaf. You will always be welcome in my home regardless of where I reside. You are part of me. You are part of this family. I will continue to proudly fly you!
