Graduating

As if life hasn't already been full of coming changes and new chapters, Will graduated high school. He also turned 18 on the same day. All I can say is, it's a good thing I've had a lot to keep my mind occupied and busy because if I stewed on this for too long I'd be in crisis mode. 

But this is what we do as parents and this is one of many goals we want for our kids. So the list of my parenting bucket list continues to see items checked off: 

• turn 18
• graduate high school
• drive
• grow in grace
• girlfriend who loves Jesus
• prom
• gets a job

The Luther Prep experience has been one heck of a ride. What a gift God has allowed us to provide for our son! Will's class made an all time record of Prep's 150 years - there are 40 young men that have planned to attend Martin Luther College in the fall for the pastoral ministry track!

With our current shortage of pastors to congregations in need, what a blessing this is! These guys still have 8 more years of study ahead of them to get there but we are grateful for their desire to serve the Kingdom in this way. 

My parents and Wayne's mom were able to attend the graduation. Jeff, Steph, and Sophie were also there to represent the Halldo clan.

Receiving his diploma

With Grandma Fran

Will and Auntie Steph have a special bond;)

Cousins

Will with Oma and Opa

Will and Jessica

The guys

Love these two!!

Uncle Jeff and Auntie Steph

Will and Eric - his roommate for next year

We went in on a party in town with a couple families. We headed over to the Irish pub following the service and outdoor pictures and spent the afternoon eating and visiting with friends and family and friends that are like family ... 

Janine and I have been friends since our own Prep days almost 30 (gasp!) years ago. Our boys graduated together and it was so fun to share the party. 

Senior Year - MLPS 

Good friends pick up where you left off! 

We spent our last night in Watertown for probably a few years before we're back for Z. 

Meanwhile .... this happened.

Oh, yeah. Remember the whole moving thing?

We left for Wisconsin on Monday. The house went live on Wednesday. This meant that before leaving on our trip the house had to be show ready.

I already like to have a fairly clean house to come home to from vacations so the concept is not new to me. But show ready?!! Like all my bathrooms have to be clean at the same time? It was a little stressful.

While we were gone we were getting email notifications of anywhere from 2-4 showings a day and were very thankful we weren't home only to be routinely displaced. There was even one day that there were two inspections done. Offers were being held until we got back home. So the following Tuesday we sat down with the realtor to look at what we got - and we got 9 offers!!!

It was amazing and the offer we accepted went above and beyond what we had even dared to pray for. With the sale of our home it means another puzzle piece in place for our move. 

With the time we have left here Wayne and I are both working until the end of June. I'm so sad to leave such a wonderful and supportive cliental. But it gives us both a chance to do what we love to do, work hard and (we pray) end well. I'm a purging maniac and after we get through this weekend's graduation open house (oh yeah, did I mention that?), furniture and large items we're not taking with us will be hopefully walking out the door. 

This month will be full of last various dr's appointments, field trips, a violin recital, spelling bee, and homeschool track meet. We're working on our Ottawa bucket list which strangely enough has quite a few restaurants on it. We have tickets to see our first football game here! 

Montreal smoked meat poutine

We've started our "last time" moments which is weird. And we also just finished watching the first season of King of the Hill for some reconnaissance work in preparation of our move;)

We may not be graduating from here the same way Will graduated from high school. There are similar feelings though attached to the changes coming and the uncertainty of the future, but the excitement that comes with that. 

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:38,39

 

Moving On

I know I have been remiss in keeping this updated as my mother so lovingly pointed out;) I'm going to try not to get too wordy and stick to highlights and post the good pictures to keep Oma happy. 

In my defence, I've been a little busy.

After the announcement of Palm Sunday, we dove right into Holy Week and Easter. There wasn't a lot of time to lolly gag. 

There was a Christian Seder Supper that was wedged in there and didn't get any pictures taken of apparently. We also didn't get an Easter family picture taken. But I got the kids and they're the cutest anyway. 

Will went back to school Easter Monday. Fran returned to Calgary on Wednesday after Easter. 

The following week was pastors' conference in Toronto. Zanna and I had already planned on going and staying with the Henrichs in  Markham. We made plans to meet up with the Gumms at the Toronto Zoo. 

We pretty much had the place to ourselves seeing as it was a random Tuesday in April and it was stinking cold. That meant there was plenty of photo ops since we didn't have to share the space with scads of kids. 

I love these gals! They are some of my fellow pastor's wives who are such blessings in my life! We may do the pastor's wife gig in different ways but we are connected in faith, in our desire to serve in our vocations, and the uniqueness of life in the ministry. They are my cheerleaders and comrades and I thank God for them! 

The next week Wayne and I left for a week in Texas. This was a reality check. 

We're not in Ontario anymore

First of all, we left Zanna home mainly due to some activities she was committed to that made it hard to miss. The day Wayne accepted the call I tearfully called my longtime homeschool friend, Christine, and told her what just happened. And then I asked her to prayerfully consider taking my child into her home for the week. She immediately accepted without hesitation. I never worried about Zanna while we were away because I was so confident she was in good hands. Thank God for good friends!! 

Meanwhile Wayne and I were off on our next adventure and headed to the Lone Star State. We spent the first evening at Brent and Chantal's in nearby DFW area and enjoyed seeing their kids and visiting their home for the first time. 

The next day was off to East Texas known as the Piney Woods area where Wayne accepted the call to. We spent the week meeting some of the members of our new congregation, house hunting, and getting to know the area better. We stayed at Camp Shiloh in a nice, cozy cabin. 

First impressions: 

to begin with, there was no snow. So that was a good place to start. After a brutally long winter this was a welcome reprieve. However I've lived in Texas before to know that by the time we move down there it'll be hottern' hades (that's hotter than hell in Texas speak). 

it was beautiful - it felt familiar yet uniquely Texan. Lots of trees, lakes and sunshine thrown in with fields of Texas bluebonnets and longhorns. Sigh .... 

the people are friendly - all of them. Coming from the rudest place I've ever lived (I love you, Ottawa, but you are mean - with the exception of some of the nicest people here I know) this was a joyful welcome! Wayne got all excited because an employee in Walmart actually helped him and then blessed his day. Welcome to Texas. 

I don't think I can imagine that our week in Texas could have gone any better. We met some very nice church members who had us over to their homes a number of times. We got to know fresh faces and make WELS connections. We had the privilege of worshiping with the group that will be our new family down there. We communed over the Lord's Supper and then shared a meal afterwards to fill our bellies. There was (unsweetened) iced tea involved that reminded us this was a southern meal. 

Two men from the church gave us a personal car ride around what will be our mission field. We got stories both personal and of the area. They were very gracious with their time.

Our realtor, Ralph, was all Texan through and through and knew that area like the back of his hand. We figured it must be a pretty safe area to be in if he leaves his keys in the ignition. We learned some back roads as he maneuvered our way from house to house. We got stories, were taken to some local restaurants, and generally given the lay of the land and then some! We found a house that we walked into and said, "Well shoot, this is home. What do we gotta do to make this happen?" And then they accepted our offer a few days later. 

We ended our last night in the area with new friends around a table of Texas BBQ and a game of hand of foot. 

We got home and hit the ground running which is how it usually goes after a trip. Zanna had her end of season synchronized swimming show. All of their hard work from the year payed off in their final routine! 

She also had a workshop at the area science museum where they did experiments on electrical circuits. 

Then there was the yearly Lutheran Girl Pioneer Mother's Day tea. The girls had been busy preparing for a puppet show complete with homemade puppets and stage decorations! Zanna was also awarded some charms she had been working towards. We are so grateful to have had this program and have been blessed by the special ladies that run it. It wasn't at our own church but the church downtown. They always accepted us with open arms! 

We had our final WINKLE here - which is what we call it when we get together with the area WELS pastors and their families. The Gumm family came up from New York and stayed the night before with us so they could join the group the next day. 

For Mother's Day Wayne and Zanna took me out to one of our favourite special restaurants that's on our bucket list to hit one more time before we leave - the restaurant at Le Cordon Bleu cooking school. It's amazing.

My beef stew never looks like this

Finally, we celebrated our last day of homeschool with a trip to the local fro-yo shop. It's all about the food:)

Next up: I'll make a separate post about our recent Wisconsin trip which includes Will's graduation. 

Homesick

Soon we are home and shall stand before him;

What matter then that we have suffered here?

Then he shall crown us while we adore him;

So death and all our pains will disappear.

CW 364 vs. 3

I've been kind of bitter about it. 

Wayne doesn't receive a call for 10 years then seemingly out of the blue he gets one to Edmonton that he ends up turning down. We resigned ourselves to assuming we will most likely be here for a LONG time mainly due to immigration hurdles that would drastically narrow down the field of possibilities. Some conversations even included the idea of staying here until he retires. Regardless, we were at peace with where we're at and counted our stability as a huge blessing that has allowed us many freedoms. 

Until.

6 months later and Wayne receives another call. This time it's to Texas and this time it's different. And the part that made me bitter was that it was messing up my Lent. 

I love Lent and not because I'm a glutton for punishment and am looking to give up a habit for 40 days that I probably should anyway. I get a lot out of taking a season to repent and reflect on my need for a Saviour. I gain a renewed appreciation of what Jesus accomplished for my salvation by reliving his hardships and anguish as he walked to the cross for me. I stand with centuries of believers that take the time every year to imagine what the disciples experienced, to hear the parables Jesus taught the people himself and the way that the passion unfolded. I stand with the Mary's and John at the foot of that horrible event that must have seemed so hopeless and scary at the time. I too await the answers yet to come.

And now this Lent of 2018 was screwed up! It hung over our heads and hearts. It kept us awake for weeks. I cried tears and Wayne made phone calls. It started to dawn on me that maybe we were no longer home. And while our family at our church would always be part of our family of believers,  maybe there was another church out there that was to be that too. 

I love this home that we live in. I've relished decorating it to my taste, expressing my personality in every corner. I've arranged family photos so that they surround us at every turn and remind us of where we come from and who our people are. I've built a home business that not only supplements our income but blesses me with people so that my extroverted side is happy happy happy while my introverted side is still cozy in my surroundings. I've schooled our children in these walls and fought hard battles of parenting along with hugs and laughter and love. We brought Zanna here to this home off the plane from China. I picked the perfect pink colour for her baby room - pink cadillac. I've gone all out for Christmas so that there is NO WHERE you can go in this house and not know that Jesus is coming as a baby in a manger.  Don't even get me started on Easter. 

That's just my house. 

Then there are the people in my life that are near and dear to me both at church and in other areas. People have come and gone in 16 years but the ones that have remained constant through thick and thin I need. No really. Some of these friends have even seen me hungry, hot, and in a crowd and they still like me! As I mentally scroll through the list of friends I have, it occurs to me that each is a gift to me that encourages me in some area of life whether homeschooling, church work, pastor's wife, adoption and parenting, or commiserating in some way. Now why on earth would I want to walk away from a tailor made support group that took me 16 years to assemble?! 

On Palm Sunday, Wayne accepted the call to Texas and announced it from the pulpit at the conclusion of service. And even though a person can't technically ruin Palm Sunday it kind of felt like we did. It was as if a cloud had descended over this group that had just finished shouting their hosannas. I was ready to throw my husband under the bus to give the impression that "I don't know what this guy is thinking. I'm just the innocent wife that has to do what he says"in an attempt to distance myself. But I didn't. I kept my eyes on the ground as much as possible and hugged those that wanted to hug. 

I already felt homesick and was looking for somewhere to be sick. 

And then I realized this is Lent too. It's feeling homesick. It's realizing that I've gotten way too comfortable making this place my be all and end all home. 

It's a struggle to find that balance between making your house a home, blooming where your planted, and when in Rome... with a yearning for an eternal communion with Christ where we'll sing with the angels and worship Him in perfection. We get a taste of this in our worship, hymns, liturgy, and sacraments. We ache for home. But this is not home. This home can lure us with it's comforts and pleasures. It can seem to fulfill all our needs. But it never will. This is not our real home. As we kneel at the communion rail and become one with Christ and with those at the table, we are reminded that there's something more and that this is but a taste of what's yet to come. We should be homesick for that eternal home that Christ bought entry for us with his own flesh and blood. We'll never feel homesick there! 

I'm very grateful the Lord has shown this to me. Lent has taken on a richer and deeper meaning that I didn't realize was possible. I look forward to celebrating Easter joy with my fellow church family as together we rejoice in Jesus' triumph over sin and death! I ache for the day that our joy will be complete and we stand together with the angels praising God!

Then I'll be home.

Lent 2018

I'll Be Good

Jaymes Young

I thought I saw the devil
This morning
Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue
With the warning
To help me see myself clearer
I never meant to start a fire
I never meant to make you bleed
I'll be a better man today

I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should
Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good
For all of the time
That I never could

My past has tasted bitter
For years now
So I wield an iron fist
Grace is just weakness
Or so I've been told
I've been cold, I've been merciless
But the blood on my hands scares me to death
Maybe I'm waking up today

I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should
I'll be good, I'll be good
I'll be good, I'll be good

For all of the light that I shut out
For all of the innocent things that I doubt
For all of the bruises I've caused and the tears
For all of the things that I've done all these years
And all
Yeah, for all of the sparks that I stomped out
For all of the perfect things that I doubt

I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should
Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good
For all of the times
I never could, oh, oh-oh
Oh, oh
Oh, oh-oh

For all of the times that I never could.

This is my song for Lent 2018. It's not a hymn. Please don't freak out if you're a Lutheran. I still have my favourite Lenten hymns which include "Go to Dark Gethsemane".  

What I like about a mainstream song is that it can do such a good job capturing the human struggle of bad vs. good, awareness that something is wrong, and cries for help. Without Jesus, their hope will be misplaced. They'll try to find it in themselves, in the good they try to do to make up for the bad they've done. Humans can grasp the concepts of grace and forgiveness but without knowing the source of the undeserved love God shows us through sending His Son, Jesus, these concepts fail to assure. 

Poor Jaymes. I feel the weight of all my sin too.  He resolves to fix it by being a better man in the future. But he will quickly realize that his good intentions have severe limitations and before he knows it, he'll be back in the bathtub wondering why he wasn't stronger. I have no idea if Jaymes Young is a Christian.

 I think his comment about what his music video represents is interesting:

About the music video for ‘I’ll Be Good’, Jaymes said “This video represents the harm we do. We harm ourselves when we harm others. It also reflects the re-birth of a forgiven conscience.” 

I think his use of the butterfly is significant. It makes me think of the butterfly I use in my Lenten Garden that sits on the open tomb on Easter morning. Butterflies represent new life. For Christians, that new life is in Jesus. 

In the video his cuts and bruises show the harm done to himself even when the battle is within. We never escape unscathed. We’re broken and hurt. And so are the people around us that we play a part in hurting. We know we’ve done wrong. We wish we were better. All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23

He sits in a bathtub and immerses himself in the water. Baptism. A washing of rebirth and renewal. Drowning our sins and connecting us to Christ and all that He’s done for us. Don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus we baptized into his death? Romans 6:3  (Baptism) ... now saves you also - not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a good conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 3:21  All of you who were baptized into Christ have been clothed with Christ. Galatians 3:27

The fish swimming in the IV drip? That stumped me at first. And it’s weird. I could definitely be reading too much into it but from a Christian perspective it’s brilliant art. The fish has been a symbol of Christian faith in the early church since facing persecution in the Roman Empire. And the purpose of an IV saline solution is to keep you from getting dehydrated. A nurse will hook you up to fluids to keep anything worse from happening to you. Especially if you can’t eat for awhile due to circumstances, this drip will hold you over until you can. The two of these things together show the life support we need to keep going. But it's still weird. 

One of my favourite Psalms this time of year is from chapter 32. David cries out - 

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to you and I did not cover up my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.

David gets to where Jaymes’ lyrics never quite make it. So aware of our sins we cry out to the Lord … and He forgives us. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

The Wednesday night Lenten services are a must for me to be reminded of what exactly Jesus did to forgive these sins. Payment had to be made for my iniquities. Jesus paid it with His very life and death. This is the path I need to walk before arriving at Easter.